swingwing

moodswings. and yeah i have teh most original title ever.. hoho.

right so achievement of the day: i wrote my 1530 word seahist essay on causes of inter-state tensions in SEA in approx 4.5hours during breaks today yay! =D

my 'hot date' was alright.. Ironman is exciting yay! but i thought his body looked kinda strange.. =/ i love takoyaki woo..

3 reasons why my boyfriend is teh awesome:
1. he cooks
2. he tolerates my moodswings and tantrums
3. he loves me

good enough reasons uhuh.. and i suppose the 1-2hr per week thing is good. cos i dont have any more time to spend on him either, or more specifically i Shouldnt spend any more time that can be more efficiently used to do more productive things like mugging.

i heard on the radio today that people who like the no.7 are repressed.. haha i always thought that i was a very loud and open person..

the elite-boys in class have been complimenting me relentlessly lately, and eventhough it's all for my koko krunch, it's starting to get pretty disturbing.. =/

oh god i just feel so awful and for so long now i think i'll go mad. who am i kidding? this is screwed up.. sigh.

olivejuice//

bouncer

i am teh bouncer for rj melayoo drama. with anwaar. HAHAHAHA

anw i've got a new name for bloody mary redi. and it's.. *drumrolls..
NASH! hahahah. really it was just a random name before i realized tt it sounded kinda like a mix&match of two names hoho..

right got this from nazri's blog cos im bored

Game rules:
A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.
B. These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
He better not. -cracks knuckles.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
uh live happily ever after with nw..

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
i agree with nw, no loud music. but not no music at all cos it'll really be very dull. um somewhere pretty i spose and lots and lots of yummy food and people. =)

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
isn't everyone? =/

5. What's your ideal lover like?
big. gorilla-ish. name starts with N, ends with I.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
loving someone i guess. everyone loves me anw, and it gets boring.. haha! (love you all too uhuh uhuh)

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
uh. i'd wait i suppose.. until i grow to hate him then move on. hoho

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
uh. i dont secretly like anyone..

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
some things i guess

10. What are some of the weirdest habits you have?
uh. i eat alot for a girl..? =/

11. Is being tagged fun?
okay la

12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
ZOMG BITCH!

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
nazri

14. What kind of person do you think you are?
optimistic

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
married and not-so poor?

16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?
help them rmb/recognize me

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
i try

18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?
the one who loves me back

19. What type of people do you hang around with?
people who go to remedials and ssp with me. god we suck. D=

20. If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
Lol?

These are the list of people I tag!
Liyana. Farin. Bimqi. and whoever else that reads this. yar.. =/

_____________________

shit late for gym.

olivejuice//

ache

aching all over, im tiredd.. gotta do 3 chapters worth of physics mcq for tuition tmr. ****ing tutor pisses me off, i should tell him tt i have a life and unlike him, i cannot finish an entire tys in one day.. -sad.

trg was really.. okay. not bad but not exactly good either.. i shall use today's 2k timing as my pb i guess.. back kinda hurt afterwards but the team massage thing was greatt. =)

oh i realize that i've grown very attached to my t1.. like teammates were mentioning bout the time when eugene wanted to borrow my boat to row up to start line and though he promised to return it before my race, i refused cos i said that "mary needs to rest". =/ hmm and though im proud to have inherited the Bloody Mary from the earlier generations of raffles canoeists, i've decided that it's time i gave it a more personal name.. Nominations are open if you wanna contribute haha!

lunch alone is rather lonely

flockey was awesome as usual.. they were totally pushing the imba boys and we were playing a game of 6 v 12 and it's really amazing how they work together so well and strategize and everything. and like eventhough they're still boyishly playful, they're really more mature than me nyeh! ramadhan esp and he's one yr younger.. =( and i think it's cool how if you saw them on the street, you'd have no idea tt they're intellectually-disabled.. =//

seahist essay due on monday. super mugger ftw!

New American Classic
"We've got to get better," I said, "it's all in your head."
We could live through these letters or forget it all together
See the months they don't matter it's the days I can't take
When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away

Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing I can do nothing about

When all that we need is just a reaction
It's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore
If chasing our dreams is just a distraction
I want to remember when I know that I can't go back

Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Try to avoid it (try to avoid it) but there's not a doubt
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing about.

random shitz. t1 optimism ftw!

olivejuice//

content

been doing probability so i've decided to take a short break..

trg yst was alright.. jiaolian kinda messed up our 2k timings i think.. bim beat me by like 2secs in her ak and he told her tt she got 12.36 and i got 12.13.. =/ but owells it felt better than sat so i shall assume that i pb-ed with the new 2k distance (ie old 2k distance plus 4 buoys ie old 2k distance plus approx 40sec) eh wait in tt case i didnt pb then.. =//

sch was okay.. was in mush mood yst but nw's a total spoiler bah..

oh yay mom just bought mcflurry.. days have been pretty hot and rowing yst felt like rowing in mud.. =(

kay back to maths!

olivejuice//

looking good

yes me, i know. =//

what's not looking good tho is the sight of a certain pale-skinned dude at the ri pool. -shudders..

so anw sch's been great. been probability-ing and it's so damn fun, im turning into a nerd ohnoes! crashed h2 physics tut and sat at the back with the other 2 trios and fungs made me some MensHealth rubbish (i really think it made him horny leyhh) and then the girls were making me moan. eh no i clarify, they were getting me to do some moaning, on my own, i mean not like they were making making me moan. O.o meh yeah.. but fungs got goosebumps and taufiq blasted music so that he wouldnt hear me moaning. poots. anw im compiling wise words from xinge, so today's is: "moaning and groaning are all the same. they're just noise" and "you can all get A for maths too. just dont listen to limbay and mug hard" alrights A ftw~!

oh and i confirmed yst that im a woman. we're doing soccer for our pe module now and i was goal-keeping and melho(who secretly hates me, i knew it!) aimed straight for me and i instinctively stuck one hand out to block the ball and the other arm went across my chest to protect my most vital organs. YES IM A WOMAN! btw i think i love soccer. whee!

i succumbed to the swensens student meal after sch today and got myself a mega burger for $9.80 excl gst and service charge.. but it was good.. =D

met nw for my weekly 1.5hr dosage of lovin'.. O.o ohwells yar didnt get takoyaki, now im regretting it boos..

NEED TO MUG NAO. probability heh heh

(Chorus)
Well you turn when I talk
Run when I walk
Rise when I fall
Burn when I shiver
Smile when I frown
Go when I come around
You twist when I shout
In when i'm out
There when I'm here
Why do I bother?
Laugh when i'm down
Whine when I make a sound

It's Sunday, it’s Monday
It’s bloody everyday
You got me wanting out the door
It’s something, no it’s nothing
Yeah it’s everything you believe
You know I've heard it all before

(chorus)
When I'm near you
When I need you
Yeah that’s when you’re furthest away
What would it take to make you stay?
There’s someone, there’s no one
Well it seems like everyone
Got to see you yesterday

(chorus)
Yeah it’s Sunday
No it’s Monday
Oh it’s everyday
You got me wanting out the door
Yeah it’s something
No it’s nothing
Well it’s everything
You know I’ve heard it all before
Oh yeah I’ve heard it all before

wise words, yo. the great decay indeed..

olivejuice//

induced

so j1 induction camp went by smoothly enough.. minor hiccups here and there and i spose the initial plan was flexible enough to accomodate changes which made the camp all the more, exciting.. like team talk evolving into truth & dare/scandal-sharing/sleeping etc.. and initiation haha! that was rather successful i thought, if we ignore the bit where the trackers desperately asked us to leave cos they needed the track and their coach looked damn pissed it was freaky.. and the Run of Hopes and Dreams was really fun.. the team is just damn awesome, i am blessed. =)

oh i missed a step in the lt when we were gonna have team contract thing and i fell like a huge lump. how embarrassing lol.. ooh and i managed to get last min reservations to swensens at united square for 45 ppl wooh! apparently some restaurants do take reservations on weekends, just that the ones i contacted earlier didnt.. -.- anw cafe cartel and fish & co.'s favoured over swensens, but given the choice between that and ordering-in pizza, they'd choose the former.. =/ ohwells..

Ravenclaw had nice ppl yay! i think marc see makes a great group leader! capt ball was fun and exciting, tho the boys did the usual habit of playing among themselves most of the time.. the short ravenclaw girls' girly bonding thing right when camp ended was i spose, pretttyy weird.. haha! but love you all anw muacks! O.o

(andrea's so pretty yayy)


cheerleaders HAHAHA!


team loveee..


t1 bitches/sluts ftw!


and finally, it's been a pleasure working with you co-ic dearest! =)

and as taufiq would say, im going to hell for that..

oh ptm was alright i spose.. dad can be abit cringe-worthy but im really very lucky that he was understanding and didnt like get damn pissed bout my awful awful grades.. oh haha i was getting lunch at adam road with prav and kenneth when dad drove past cos he was having lunch there as well. then when i called him while he was parking, he asked whether i changed out yet cos i was in shorts. then we decided that it was okay since my shorts are about as long as a skirt anw hoho.. he gave us a lift to sch since he was going there anws.. oh pretty much all of the teachers said that im a good girl and have the right attitude woo! should suck up more yayy! =//

oh collected new car today.. it's alot smaller but pretty comfy inside.. had pretty much the same features, minus indiv aircon and lights and mini tables, but the gps system is kickass cool wooh! gonna miss the old car tho and the car plate no..

27/03/05 was when nw made his move and we got the car in 2004, which made the car plate no. very significant. now it's gone. hmm..


ohwells we didnt take pictures with the new car.. RIP old car, we'll miss you!

just read na's lj, and i spose i might as well comment. "i had a conversation with syimah that really pissed me off the other day- not with her, but myself. she said the ultimate aim in one's life was to create babies." well i do spose i meant it in a biological, religious purpose in life thing.. but yeah i want kids cos i think it's pretty wonderful to create some thing (not just in a sexual/biological sense) but it's like creating the greatest work of art.

okay i gave up trying to explain cos i just cant find the right words. -defeated. owells i spose all i really want is to challenge myself in molding my kids to be great people.. and my dream of opening that activity centre for underpriviledged kids is kinda like expanding my work.. i guess how we find what we leave behind to be worthy or not is subjective, the way na doesnt find reproduction to be that great.. but i'd be content with having raised great kids and if i were given the opportunity to help other children to grow up to be great ppl, i'd die very very happy indeed..

hmm happy 37th, love.. spending only 4hrs together in one month is sad, but i spose things can only get better, yes? hoho owells.. i love you.
olivejuice//

hello!

okay should stop being emo.
hmm so basically,
sch today started off like this: -.- then =(

then civics was like this: D=

then break was like this: O.o
oh btw who knows what nagasari looks like?? cos i asked 4 j1 melayoos, one of which i have never talked to before, and most of them asked "is that a person?" lol! (and poots i just googled it and taufiq's right. the one that i had in mind's tepung pelita gar..)

then maths lecture was: =/

then seahist was: X_X

then break was: zzz

then econs test was: =(( then =))

then slacking with laksh and na was: =D
we're worried that we're not girly girls ohnoes!

followed na and melz to pizza hut awhile. then met nw, who was late as usual, and had pizza hut. they gave us the pretty booth table haha! food was good..

then sent nw off at busstop. (funny aint it?)
then walked home in the drizzle. woohoo

i suppose i feel so much better when i dont think..

olivejuice//

watch me fall

god everyone's just going mad, and im not acting myself, or the self i used to be. i need to have more restraint, im turning into some undiplomatic hysterical melodramatic bitch, it is unsafe, i need to hide in my little fake coccoon. -sad.

i am becoming teh emo.

gym today felt good.

some ppl are so -.-

im sorry i cant talk it out. i just miss us. yeah

-shrugs..

olivejuice// be there

barenaked, again

life is difficult. and being too self-aware just sucks.

like you know how crying can be relieving? well i cant even cry without suddenly having another me staring out through my eyes and at my hands over my eyes and thinking how just bloody stupid and drama it is. so then i stop, numbed and wonder, what now?

or how i cant even feel sorry for myself proper without thinking that im selfish and that there are other ppl have it much worse than me. well i cant help them anw and then i dont even help myself.

or like how i care so much for other ppl, tt i disregard my studies, my future and what's best for me simply because i believe too much in others or that others will change. but they wont, and i just dont have the guts to do what i ought to.

i hate i hate i hate pretending. i am fucking drama but god i just wish i could just be real, but noone wants to be there for a sad lump. i am broken and scared and hurt but i cant show it. nope not at all.. =)

i love you so much// love isnt like this.

long day

and thus i shall split yst into 3 parts!

trg + friendlies
trg was okay la, not so bad. the k2s and esp k1s doing resistance with lifejacks looked so Ouch. but i guess i wasnt all pity cos im in a big fat t1 so.. =/ improved 2k timing, tho not pb but still since i always tell others, 'every improvement counts' so yeah woohoo.. then 20 x 40 bursts was.. relatively gg but the company of the single boaters was fun. =)

and haha i love the t1 bitches.. py and i were embarassingly high so i apologize. i'll control my high next time..? anw, the races were understated i spose.. and kinda unprofessional, on a certain person's side but it was all fun so yay! my wave was sposed to have 4 boats but a cj boat decided to join in when we were aligning and i was like O.o hey wtf! but okay la it was all good in the end. 2 cj, 2 mj and i got first woo.. not a huge achievement, but it's a start..

interim
during the madness while keeping boats, i got a phonecall. a few phonecalls, or more like The Phonecall as py put it. it was embarrassing and i was hyperventilating and i guess you can say that i was quite a mess. thanks teammates for being all nice and everything and im sorry i left before team cheer or missed whatever else.. love all of yoos.

went to sch to shower, pray, eat my adam rd nasi lemak packed lunch, pray then headed to pris' place @ the Rafflesia opp sch lol! i like quiet time..

class bbq/parteh
started off pretty low-key cos there were only what, 6-7 of us when the men, ie nigel and me and maybe woonie, attempted to start the fire. then nigel and i gave up and he blasted music and i plopped in a chair. and poured my heart out. im sorry for being a party pooper at tt point and thankyou for the concern ppl..

so anw i tried to make up for it by uh attempting to liven up the party.. nigel and i went to uh change.. (haha nigel haha!) oh and fungs and yq came so it was like scouts at one pit and bb at the other attempting to start the fire. but the winner was pris' dad who saved the day lol..

many ppl declined getting dumped into the pool but the few who agreed were a great sport about it ah.. fungs was the best of course haha! i think being in canoeing made me enjoy being in water eventho i cant swim, but being able to stand in the water helped too haha. and getting suddenly carried and thrown like a sack into the water by nigel and wenchun was scary but really really fun. na said i screamed like a banshee..

i still think fiona linda and xinge are awesome bbq-ers, they're so cute and i enjoy being their guinea pig.. raw chicken ftw~!

na and i cabbed home at 8.45 woo.. trying to get the cabs was funny, silly and fun. love you na!

so yup thanks pris for making my day by hosting the most awesome bbq. btw im sorry for being all annoying ard you and eherm but lol i think it's sweet that your parents are all cool about it and may the two of you last for a long long long long timee..

the class was just pure joy. love you all! gonna party like that for post-As aight!

i almost didnt wanna go for class bbq cos i was very much not in the mood but im glad i did. getting high was nice..

olivejuice// i guess i always knew it'd be okay. i suppose..

we live on fascination

pretty song. =)

currently at comlab 2 and i just booked parent-teacher meeting slots for my dad ugh. D=

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRAV! sorry i missed the parteh this morning..

in any case, nw darling made me breakfast again. haha! i cant upload the picture here, which is not much of a loss i guess cos it doesnt look too pretty.. >< but very VERY yummy and just like the previous time, very filling.. which is quite rare for me to say, as na would gladly point out. hoho good stuff.. =)

oh i had the horriblest dreams last night. so sad so sad.. dont die anytime soon ohkays! =/

anw, in reply to bim's tag-->, i was sick yst. i had flu and fever boos! i already had a dry cough on monday annen taufiq was being all sick and flu-ey so he passed the flu bug to me(during maths i think cos there were a few of us in an air-conned classroom and only then did i start sneezing alot) being sick is awful bahs.

oh but na's more sick but she hasnt take a day off sch at all which makes her very hardcore. which reminds me, na sort of gave me a challenge today. i need to mug more than her. yeah. so i will. -nods fervently..

riiight. and two j4 guys gave us a talk bout ns during civics today. couples tend to break up during bmt ohnoes.. =/ i think if i ever went for ns, i'd definitely aim for OCS, cept that mom made it quite clear that i was never to go for ns so ohwells..

trg yst was relatively hardcore. first 2k timing was O.o and the other 2 was humiliating. back hurts like nobody's business and eventho i know i might as well just live with the pain like i always have but then parents will be damn pissed cos they paid for my physio and all that. ugh and friendlies this sat, im gonna get pwned like mad i dont wanna go.. D=

aight gtg econs starting soon.

olivejuice// more than anything in the world! =)

introspect

am home now. nope i didnt go for trg. why? cos i did some simple back-strengthening exercises yst that physiotherapist told me to do and ended up with a cramped back all night. and dad reminded me that doc told me to make sure i have "pain-free" trgs. so i decided to go to the park with dad and sisters this morning to run. i ended up running only one round cos my back was hurting. wth. i guess im taking up doc's offer for excuse from napfa. which is this monday. ugh i hate giving up.. and to think i was aiming for top 10 for napfa again.. =(
sigh.

right so yst was a nice enough day..
cos it started off with this.

my sayang made me breakfast haha! okay it may not look very appetizing, as teammates insisted, but it really tastes heavenly.. double layered ramly with cheese and pepperoni ftw! =)) the way to my heart is through my stomach boos.. and for the burger, i think i can last another week of not seeing you.. =/ owells. thanks, love..

so then later at 10.40 laksh and i followed na to collect our pw results..

pw rep holding our pw grades. aww sho cute. haha well done 5A, we're one step closer to living up to our name.. =D

ohyeah and for civics on thurs, we did some career test thing.
here are my potential careers that suit my personality:
SAE
Counselor/Therapist
Home economics teacher
School counselor
School teacher
and the categories are ranked as such:
1. Social (helpers)
2. Artistic (creators)
3. Enterprising (persuaders)
4. Realistic (do-ers)
5. Conventional (organisers)
6. Investigative (thinkers)

lol im very much not a thinker.. oh pris thinks im introspective! haha yay! =//

okay gtg to sch awhile now.

olivejuice//

bimqi's first scarring

lol just rmbed an idiom that sums up Untraceable..

Curiosity kills the cat.

hoho!

bimqi's first scarring

haha yes the two of us who were "unable to attend training due to unforseen circumstances" (no, not pon), decided that urgent destressing was in order, so we caught a 2.35pm slot of Untraceable, which was a very very good show.. the storyline was interesting and the effects were awfully well done and terribly vivid ugh.. bim refused to look at any of the close-ups of the 'ugly' scenes tsk.. ><

lol on the other hand, the show was also good gp material, what with issues such as the boons and banes of technology, the extensive reach and influence of mass media, the degeneration of society's morals, herd mentality and the power of the individual in instigating certain values in a society..

hahaha right.. anws, after the show, we spent ard an hour walking around j8 to finish our drinks and also to allow bim to regain her composure.. =D

however, i somewhat thought the show was lacking in, something. i felt the neccesary emotions during the show, but was quite numbed afterwards.. pillowman has mucked up my system boos..

oh yeah i finally got a C for gp. though some ppl finally got their As, i must say that i dont mind having low standards.. we gotta start from somewhere, no? =)

olivejuice// i really miss you so

pillowman

i've just whizzed through the assembly crowd, and thank goodness for the week-long cancellation of pe for j2s, i can finally satisfy my dire need to blog.

firstly, Pillowman yst was so amazingly brilliant! it was so disturbing and creepy and it made me feel sick throughout the play and for very long after but despite all the madness, the familial aspect of the play was still so beautiful(thanks to the fantastic Fantastic acting of course). and the much-needed bouts of humour livened the play muchly and constantly provided the gulp of fresh air after being sucked into the deranged world of the sick and twisted.. and i will repeat what i said to both nw and na, no amount of palahniuk can prepare anyone for pillowman. okay i haven't read enough palahniuk to accurately judge but really! i can totally understand how people can pass out listening to Guts being read aloud cos yst was really goddamn awful, though the theatrics definitely added a punch, and i was so thankful for the brief intermission cos i could finally take a breather from the nausea..

damn play's set up camp in my head and i had some awful dreams about it last night that made me shiver when i woke up this morning, though i cant rmb it at all now.. the actors were just incredible.. it's in times like this that i kick myself for my utter incompetence in writing and much-limited vocab cos im unable to fully and succinctly encompass the superbness of pillowman. but i guess basically, you should've been there.

we missed the last bus and decided to take NR3 instead and meanwhile trooped to starbucks for awhile.. but apparently nr3 doesnt operate on sundays, which we only figured out afterwards cos we are Very experienced creatures of the night, so we cabbed home. cruising down the highway at 120km/h and nursing my poor disturbed mind with a java chip venti was definitely the icing on the cake. thankyou mom for sponsoring the tickets (though i think it's best that she never found out the amount of course language and sick themes that permeated the play)

moving on, Girl interrupted is an amazing book! ugh i just used amazing to describe both pillowman and GI. anww, i find it so thought-provoking without being annoyingly pretentious, though perhaps my inane thoughts are just easily provoked.. =/ in any case, the mention of plato's allegory of the cave in the book made me lol..

which reminds me, today while waiting for ssp to start, i was reading at the table outside the com labs when this uberly geeky boy just plopped opposite me and though he quietly and innocently mugged opposite me, his presence was bloody stifling and i felt a strong urge to bare my teeth and snarl the GI way.. meh..

in any case, the book made me consider the advantages of being mad.. i've been in a rather depressive state lately, and what with cousin's account of her brief encounter being in the mad ward of NUH, i realize that i fit the bill quite perfectly. normal by day and depressive by night! wow! but then i realized that i might as well gather my wits soon cos i'd have to sit the bloody As anw, either now or later when i get out of the madhouse since you cant really survive in singapore without having some form of qualification.. however, such a retreat really does have its appeal..

talking to dad today made me realize how i actually enjoy being relatively stupid or displaying a "lesser than thou" front, however perverse it may be, cos it makes the other person quite pleased with himself and i have no need to actually try to make myself look smart or anything cos it's just taken for granted that im not. hmm, okay maybe i dont feel that way all the time. cos now it seems a tad bit depressing.. =/

btw bern says that for my kind of grades, i might get suspended from trainings till ct2, which leaves only a week before nats and which by the looks of such a situation, i am quite unlikely to compete in..

school seems quite meaningless of late..

olivejuice//

push

so finally got back results for the last of our core subjects today.. SUSU. definitely the worst exam i've sat for bother.. ggm's prolly gonna have a nice friendly chat with me when he finds out bout my grades and i just cannot imagine what he'd say/do. screwed up la, i put in more effort this time and see where it got me. pfft.

a little something from zr,
when things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high
and you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
when care is pressing you down a bit
rest if you must, but dont you quit.

life is queer with its twists and turns
as every one of us sometimes learns
and many a fellow turns about
when he might have won had he stuck it out
don't give up though the pace seems slow
you may succeed with another blow

often the goal is nearer than
it seems to a faint and faltering man
often the struggler has given up
when he might have captured the victor's cup
and he learnt too late when the night came down
how close he was to the golden crown

success is failure turned inside out
the silver tint in the clouds of doubt
and you never can tell how close you are
it might be near when it seems afar
so stick to the fight when you are hardest hit
it's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

nice stuff yup.. on a lighter note, i watched enchanted yst, and it truly was one of the prettiest shows i've watched in a long while.. i wanna be a princess whee! O.o the songs were really really nice too.. =))

and finally a little something from njcc,


first for heats yay!


beloved k4! =D


us being a good sport and smiling with our imaginary plaques.. =)

girls!


guys + girls!

what a bunch of camwhores.. haha rafflesrow <3!

olivejuice//

pictures from woonie

much belated but very lol still =D

1. i was bored in class


2.tried to do some poses in the box-like thingeys



3. and learnt to fly



4.before settling down to mug.

whee i look so mugger! =D

so fine the pictures weren't exactly taken in that order but yeah.. haha fun stuffs to do in class.. =)

olivejuice//

jerk

this will be a short entry. bim & i ponned pe today cos we were both sick. (bern was sick too but she hardcored pe anw. capt ftw!) haha so anw we got tired and decided to sleep. i had my head on my bag and she had her head on my legs. annen after sometime, i dreamt that i slipped and fell, then i felt my whole body jerk. so i woke up to see if bim felt it too. at that moment she woke up and said that she dreamt that she was rowing, and when i jerked, she capped.

obsessed canoeists ftw! =)

school today was awesome.

olivejuice//

move on

so today was another round of races.. rj did pretty well, much better than nats and the sheer determination and team spirit was overwhelming and simply wow. =)

i was still sore bout our cap this morning.. i hadnt set my alarm so i was late and missed the k4 500m heats.. ge said it would've made me feel good cos the rj boat was so far ahead and apparently we were like that yst too.. hmm. so owells stoning and staring at the water made me feel awful so i kept myself busy, talking, psyching teammates, carrying boats and running with selene etc. but no matter what, everytime i stopped busying myself or whenever i was alone, my mind would wander back to yst's incident and i felt so loser-ish cos everyone was happy or focused on their next race or something and i was just dwelling on the past..

nazzer came by at 3 and left at 4.. we avoided ppl and stayed under the trees mostly and watched most of the races from there.. nazzer may not be very good with handling messed up emotional girls, but his presence was comforting and i felt a whole lot better afterwards yup!

prize presentation was rather fast and rj is teh noisy and camwhore haha! hmm our k4 managed to get over yst and we talked bout it without breaking down and all.. so yup we're strong, and all you lucky ppl in our finals better watch out.. uhuh.. so anw followed the girls for dinner at cafe cartel afterwards but i couldnt buy anything so i brought in a mcflurry which jr kopped like a poor deprived vege-eater(which she is) haha! and i was being a terrible muslim cos after a long while of seeing the girls eat the freeflow of bread, i ate one/four so py was considering what could possibly make the bread not halal but ohwell if anyone knows why it should be not-halal, pls keep it to yourself yup..

apparently there'll be friendlies on 19th. so wth i'll see bout the month-long break.. maybe i can recover in a week..? ugh hope so..

olivejuice//

keep our heads high

i honestly didnt consider the possibility of capping. at least not when we were lined up at the start. i was going for the gold. i set my heart, my mind, my everything on it. race started and we rowed hard, we were second to nj. and then it happened. god i can still see it so clearly in my mind.. there was this sudden huge tilt and we were shouting nonono and desperately tried to tilt back but it was no use.

im really sorry for everything, michelle,ge,deb. im sorry that whatever i said in the water made you guys feel worse, i really didnt mean it to be. and ugh i was so shaky and everything.. t1 noob in a k4.. i feel awful.

we were so close. and thinking bout today reminds me of women's open last year and i was so close then too. and nats, i didnt even bloody row cos i gave up before i could even try.. i should have just shut up bout the pain then, cos just like today, i rowed eventho my back was hurting damn bad cos i didnt wanna let the k4 down. which means i could've rowed for nats cos the pain's all in the mind. but i guess ge rowing in my place for nats was best for the team, and she really did damn well too for someone who was made to row at such short notice..

today feels like a very bad dream. everything just feels so surreal..

when we were in the water, i rmb being very disappointed but still relatively calm.. when we got back on our boat and had to row back, it struck me then that we had to row back to shore, defeated and it just felt so horrible.. and ge and mich were crying and i told them to stop but before long, i was crying too and i just couldnt help the feeling of regret and letting everyone down..

now that i've let out all that's been bothering me, i can let go of today completely and move on..

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

i will be stronger. im sorry if the k4 girls disagree with me, but i think we have given it our all, and what happened was beyond our control.. let's stay strong and look forward to better races in the future.. rmb when we prayed before our race? you guys asked for God to give you strength to handle whatever that may happen. rmb the screwups during nats last year? and how the j3s were so strong and kept their heads high even then? let's just hold on to the memory of coming in first during our heats and how good it felt, cos we're gonna make it happen again for future races.. =)

my thanks and love goes to the entire team, both girls and guys, for cheering us on and cheering us up and the girls esp for making me smile even when i felt like crap..

im very motivated to train doubly hard now, but by decree of the sports doc and my dad, im not to row for a month, (cept for saturdays cos i managed to bargain for it) and i feel so guilty.. how can i expect to win a gold when im missing so many trgs while other schs will be training like mad? tsk..

i should go sleep now or something. back hurts so bad bother..

olivejuice//

it's been great

school today was.. random. from super impromptu civics-class-bonding session, where the class was thankfully thankfully cooperative enough, to jap visitors (whom i introduced myself as watashiwa kawaii des) and beep test during pe. eh i was classified as Good. hahaha. i got till 8.9 only cos 1) i was tired and 2) hence when i forgot to turn after 8.9 due to stonededness, i just stopped running. but i was honest and ran end-to-end ohkays! and ended up second last to plop off for the second batch. shuninny did up till 9plus ah. pro seh. soccer player pfft.

meeting for camp was -.- ohwells..

it was raining veh heavily so we left for macs at 4.30.. i didnt row cos we werent doing k4 and my back is dying. Very pain. boos.

nazzer came at 5.30 to fetch me yupp. dinner at vivo was nice.. secret recipe's affordable and pretty yummy leyh.. haha but i still want to try the food at Earle swensens cos farin says it's yummy and the serving's huge. hmmmm..

and then after dinner, nazzer decided that he needed to poop and so he did, (cos we're romantic like that).. then i bought ice cream at 711 and emo-ed at this bridge thing outside of vivo and when nazzer was done pooping, i couldnt shake off the emo mood still. until much much later when i realized that i was wasting precious quality time being stupid. yes i am a rational, understanding and nice girlfriend. O.o.O in any case, thankyou for the treat, love.. =)

so i ponned sch on tues and wed cos of physio and doc appt respectively.. i LOVE the massage by my physio.. =)) ohyar and on wed, after the appt, i went to dad's office to have lunch with sis who's working with him(free food mah).. then i realized that i forgot to collect my meds from the pharmacy wtg! so i rushed back to sch to discuss camp with sh (omg shenghao has the same initials as me! ahhhhhhhhhhh) D= okay then afterwards i rushed to ah (which surprisingly took 20mins only O.o!) and then back to macs for trg.. k4 was pretty good..

BACK BLOODY HURTS. awesome timing manz..

okay now i have to do a CT rep reflection thing for leadership week. gayness mehs..

olivejuice// Happy 3 years! love you muacks! O.o

gar

effing camp and screw ups and rubbish from That bugger and annoying self-impt two-faced shithead. what did i do to deserve The worst working partner ever? if he disproves our revised plan.. wtf whatever pissed off.

need sleep

olivejuice// i think i make better company than kt tunstall.

rainbow after the rain

this is random but i watched Gameplan and Beauty & the Beast in the living room with my sisters on friday night. i cried watching the former, when the rock told the reporter how much he loved his daughter cos he looked so earnest and torn and aww. =/ and the Beast is really really damn hot. and agile like when he jumped over the bannister. and his roar is sexy. and cute when he was feeding the birds. but his human form was so ugly my sisters and i laughed. haha!

watched Stardust yet again today.. i lovelove it. and the song for the credits is pretty, Rule the world by Take that. yupyup!

some other shows which i find very nice, which i can think of now:
(only the family shows)

Shrek
Moulin rouge
A walk to remember
Narnia
27 dresses
Stardust
Spiderman
Beauty and the beast ><
Cinta
Sepet

that's all i can think of now. =/ okay random post over.

rainbow after the rain

so the long weekend's been good.. went out with the other three on friday and i was 2-3hrs late cos i was chionging camp stuff (which btw has an uber exciting theme, courtesy of shenghao and i).. missed na's ear-piercing, which reminds me that i want a cartilage piercing but my mom'd kill me nyeh.. so i got art stuffs for sisters' birthdays and we didnt do all that much after that cos na left for horton, which i wanna go watch but am broke, and melz&freen went for dinner, which sounded pretty cool in melz' blog.. ohyeah headed for aunts afterwards..

saturday was fun as usual.. trg at macs in the morning was surprisingly ggxx. did 500s and 2 2k timings and startbursts in my t1.. i was using k strokes on my t1 cos i didnt wanna readapt yet but eventho it felt strange, i think it's actually better. cos i felt more glide and was barely tired by 1k and was ahead of an unmentionable.. but hmm it could be nothing ah, i forgot to ask jiaolian for my timings.. =/

something horrible happened during my row tho, ugh. yeah after startbursts, deb was yelling at michelle and i.. plopped right from t1 to k4.. manz felt damn weird.

6 days to njcc

waited for nazzer, then we went for lunch at amk hub then grabbed a bus to flockey, which was awesome as usual.. we were doing some passing drills and it was fun and khairul looked sho cute when he got the puck into the square before any of us could haha! we only got to play a short game, whereby nazzer blocked 3 of my shots, before it rained.. then coach shaiful offered nazzer and i grandstand balcony tix to Spore vs Australia at the kallang stadium.. my parents let me go shockingly..

dropped by fareast to get books for sis and had dinner and we ended up late for the game.. =/

well eventho neither team scored a goal, which was quite disappointing cos i wanted to see a live goal, i got to see ppl getting injured/faking injury and some aussie player shoved a spore player for no apparent reason and a bunch of patriotic aussie kids who went "aussie aussie aussie. oy oy oy!".. and haha yay another new experience! going home with nazzer at night is very nice.. got lectured when i got home at 11.30 hoho!

slack day today ohnoes.. time to do some physics now yup!

olivejuice// 4 days to three.

random photos

An old picture i found that captures my appreciation and love for Swensens' Mega burger.. =)

Some pictures from parents' anniversary Malacca trip.

mush mush parents ack!

posing wahahas!

Kenny Rogers is LOVE.

haha. okay that's all ><

happy!

yst was very very very nice. physics paper was alright haha! yeah then hung ard at the library and borrowed books and settled some camp stuff and looked out of the lib at the mph at the rest of the ppl still sitting for bio/h2 physics.. ><

yup then went for swensens with some of the class ppl.. some ppl were pda-ing and it was relatively strange.. so yeah food was awesome and the company was great.. oh and badboy bought me a $1 bouncy ball yayy!

trg was quite good.. i did ak2 for the first time hahahaha! super exciting yes! did 2k without capping =)) then ge came and we did k4.. eh no at first we did k3 cos michelle hadnt come back yet haha! then we had a sudden cap. =/

so yeah k4.. It only just struck me yst tt i was not ready to compete in a boat tt's completely foreign to me.. 1) i still have to learn to isolate my butt. the rest are used to aks so they're like damn stable. D= 2) t1 strokes are quite diff. i've adapted to the k strokes but it still feels strange.. 3) frequency damn fast. 4) end burst is madness. t1 is like full body exercise. you use pretty much every part of your body all the time. to kick, to tilt etc. and the boat rocks like mad esp during bursts.

k4's killing me.

oh and we left macritchie later than usual yst night and we got a preview of the creatures of the night that resided in macs. Flying squirrels! omg there were 2 of them in a tree and we actually got to see em in flight. wahahs freaking cool!

hmm anw i screwed hist paper. 4 essays. 2 for internatl and 2 for sea hist. here are the no of lines i wrote:
1: 2
2: 1 pg 5 lines
3: 4 lines
4: 3 lines
because i studied the night before and the information that actually stuck were as fragmented as the southeast asian govts post-independence..

alright i gotta buck up and start mugging next week. in the mean time, im gonna partay over the weekend.. =) post-cts ftw~!

gotta plan induction camp now tho. boos

olivejuice//

my favourite things

i just remembered a little something bim blogged about not too long ago,

when the dog bites, when the bees sting,
when im feeling sad,
i simply remember my favourite things,
and then i dont feel so bad.

so yeah some of my favourite things include,

1. fluffy clean towels (cos i was showering when i rmbed the song =/)
2. nice calming holidays (like the one to genting last june, eventho i had to face CTs shortly afterwards..)
3. food.
4. rowing under the huge clouds at macritchie
5. sleeping/reading to sleep
6. babies. cept when they poop, vomit or cry
7. hanging out with friends doing random nothings
8. starbucks
9. gym-ing
10. nazri

actually i think the song really is quite right. i feel quite alot better now haha!

right so im quite definitely gonna screw cts, which really is very very sad. and i really fear what ggm's gonna do bout it. as in the C average thing.. i really really really wanna row for the school, myself and the team. it's just Ugh i cant seem to get out of this vicious circle(the girls said it's circle, not cycle)..

btw bim, it's alright, it's okay. we'll be here for you so just come back in one piece and pwnz njcc like i know you will aights? =)

so im off to tutor sis for a short bit now.. yes i know i should be mugging but i still need to collect money cos im just super duper broke bah..

oh yeah and cos nw told me to blog about it, he's planning to open a prata lan shop. smart i guess but the prata is just way random. plus i dont like prata.. =/

on the other hand, im gonna dedicate part of my house, a landed property hopefully, like a wing or something. a building just for my activity centre for kids. haha it'll be quite cool la. like i can still be with my kids while helping other kids! =DD

but of course if i cant even pass my cts, i dont know how im gonna achieve all that. bah big dreams..

olivejuice//

painfully perfect

back from malacca yup!

due to our most favourite escaped bandit, there was a massive jam at tuas. then later in johor, there was an accident that held us up for a long time too. plus a few other contributing factors, we were off our schedule by 5 hours. =//

in any case, it was a hugee party of 9 mpvs and a whole lot of babies and toddlers. it was super havoc thanks to the kids, which made the whole trip very fun wooh!

the events in pointform:
1. superbadfrustratingboring jam.

2. sleeping in car

3. detour @ ayer hitam for uber yummy putu bamboo & coconut drink.

4. reached Mahkota Hotel Malacca at 5.30pm(instead of 12.30), so we couldnt shop before dinner as planned.

5. annying ungrateful buggering aunts. (gar.)

6. seafood dinner. uncle at malacca helped us book a place and order the food and everything. we came 1-2 hrs late so the food that was already laid out was cold. =( but all of us were super hungry anw so we pretty much cleared the 6-7 tables.

7. i had to walk an oldd aunty to the toilet. we were on the second floor (like some exclusive party like that seh), so going down the stairs with her was some arduous task that took foreverr. plus there's some history between her and mom so being nice to her felt abit strange..

8. post-dinner speeches and present-giving and cake & pulut cutting lol

9. back to hotel. went up to shower and pray. mom booked karaoke room for 2hrs for 100rm
(meh). dad's side was karaoke-ing first. when we came down, most of them were gone but mom's side was there.. segregation ftw yo.

10. took little cousins/nephews/nieces out to sit by the pool. little nephew was being hyper and mad. found out the next day that he was laughing and crying to himself at night. so yeah they claimed that he saw "something" though we wont know for sure ah

11. went to bed at 1.30am

12. woke up to pray and get ready for breakfast but apparently we were 1hr early so we went back to sleep.

13. breakfast. gave parents the scrapbook/album thing which we made. the cards that sis and i passed to our relatives didnt all make it back to us but there was enough i guess. album turned out pretty well.. =)

14. swimming~! cept that shirt & pants were apparently not allowed in the pool so i hadta change out to proper swimwear.. ugh bulging tummy.
- entertained the kids. got bullied by the kids. and hung ard with the guys, which is something i havent done in a long while..

15. showered, cleaned out, checked out.

16. parents went to drop grannies at our kampung to stay for a few days and newly-married cousin also followed to introduce the new member of the family..

17. so sisters and i independently lunched and shopped on the money they gave. 200rm for food and extra money each to shop hoho! kenny rogers is lovelovelove~!

18. i like the stuffs at F.O.S yay!

19. got my Javachip venti at starbucks and other ventis for sisters too yup..

20. homebound by 4.15pm.

21. detour to mini malaysia but it was closed. stayed for about 30-45mins to shop for little things and have a drink.

22. stop somewhere else for prayers.

23. cars partnered up and we headed on to spore at own pace.

24. we stopped at gelang patah cos i kept badgering dad bout getting the cheesy wedges from kfc. we went to the toilet first. so when we walked to kfc, the last customer was leaving and the guy was standing at the door. apparently it closes at 10.30 and this was at 10.15. i turned ard to look at sisters, and when i turned back, he was locking up the door. D: i guess it wasnt meant to be.. -sad

25. smooth flowing at malaysian checkpoint & tuas. got home at 11.45..

i think my family seems quite perfect on the outside, especially to our relatives but i guess it's all relative.. =/

so yup pretty awesome weekend holiday overall despite minor problems here & there.. =)

i love you, mama & abah! ><

olivejuice//

away

i cant believe im going away to malacca over the weekend. CTs in little over a week. bloody screwed gar..

so sis got her results today.. not very good but wayy huge improvement from her prelims so woooh there's hope for me yet! =D

anw i wanted to treat sis to Pillowman and asked mom if i could get money from my back acct. then mom didnt let me but in the middle of the night she gave me $74 dollars and said it was her treat. so then i went to sistic but all the student priced tickets were sold out so after much deliberation i bought the $50 +$3 sistic charge tix.. mom was angry but she said she'd pay me the extra anws.. mom's very nice lately.. =/

okay so am looking forward to pillowman on 6april yay!

confirmed rowing k4 for njcc.. random manz but hooha all the way let's go~! O.o

gonna try mug abit before i call it a day..

okay and i think i'll put up tagboard for a week or so, just because i can. =)
olivejuice//

upside

not in school now. yay! physio just now was interesting.. mom insisted on coming along so she got to see me in my jersey for the first time. i think she was relatively disturbed.. more so about the much exposed skin rather than my muscles lol.. anw the doctor's very nice.. the massage was awfully painful i could've cried but she was telling my mom how my back's a prolonged injury and i happen to have a high tolerance for pain. so i bit my lip instead..

doc also taught me exercises to strengthen the lower/middle part of my back, which is relatively weaker than my upper back/wings/shoulders/lats.. and she wants me to work on my pecs. so pretty soon i guess my boobs might look smaller than my pecs. O.o that's quite disturbing..

heat therapy was itchy.

hmm what else what else.. life's looking up yes. sat water trg was very very very fun. it was raining when we came so we all huddled under the shelter trying to keep warm, watching ppl walk past.. =) yup then the natl team ppl were still doing time trials.. with so little time left, jiaolian let py and me do k2. wooh t1 kids ftw! we were pretty syncro and we capped only once and that's after bursting for 500s and i was too tired to tilt back nyeh..

yup and also when we were waiting for the rain to stop, the exciting chn-speaking ppl were talking to jiaolian and apparently(but perhaps not confirmed?) he wants me to row k4 for njcc cos there's no t1 race and it'd be a waste if i dont row.. hahaha. sweet. =D but i've only rowed k4 once in my life so good game manz..

flockey on sat was really really fun too yup! nazzer came an hour late -.- but he did pretty well for a goalie despite our super fast&strong attacking opponents namely luqman. haha but i scored two goals again! cos im so super pro yes~! lol one's a normal shot and the other was a backward shot between my legs. desperate times call for random fantastic goals wahahs!

cousin's wedding on sunday = unwilling child labour FOC. but owells it went smoothly so wooo..

right studies-wise, i have just got to buck up. study programme sounds pretty good and im thankful to the school though quite some ppl weren't too happy bout it.. i think my assentiveness to authority is greatly due to my years in ncc. ack screwed up..

alright mug!
olivejuice//

veni vedi vici

i sailed i saw i concurred- that gp ct was a joke. owells die die la i already did what i could so now i tawakkal.. =/ haha!

i had lunch at swensens with farin na and melz yup.. i lovelove the mega burger. i derive such great satisfaction from being able to stuff a complete chunk of the burger, ie. with all the layers, into my mouth. it just feels really good, though the bit where i have to chew and swallow a mouthFull of food is rather unglam.. =/

i dont know why im blogging such rubbish.

life hasnt been too good lately. i havent been able to follow my study plan. fungs' birthday prezze took a little more time than expected. i mugged abit too much and unnecessarily too since i didnt really apply much of what i crammed.

but aside from my unsuccessful intellectual pursuit, life's been all-around sucky i guess..

i dont know wth is going on. i dont know why you're acting this way. i dont know whether i should care. i can respect your decision if you'd just tell me why.

this is fckd up.

i went back to talk to melz and farin after telling the definitely-not-gay gayboys that i was gonna take the bus. talking to them made me feel quite alot better. altho i didnt actually address the issue that was bothering me, i still felt much better.. =) i took the bus home ard 45mins later..

i cant wait to row tmr. i seem to be able to forget all my troubles when i row. or when i gym. and perhaps when i run too. was quite disappointed when the gym was closed today. i feel like crap.

olivejuice//

so it seems

just did some photo editing for fungs' present. i finished vectors assignment before that. so yeah i didnt totally let my mug time go to waste.. =/

everyone's just damn messed up.

ugh. fck ths sht

olivejuice// yes it's finally our 35th =)

freefall

was thinking of an appropriate title for this entry but then matboy & badboy came along and they thought i sounded emo so haha changed the title

so anw march hols are coming up and CTs begin right when it ends. cant quite say that it's crunch time yet cos then that'll entail hardcore mugging, which really isnt something i can afford what with the great amount of time spent on hardcore training.. well i mug quite abit now.. but owells nvm soon. like when nats end and so does my canoeing career. and my time as a man.

have i mentioned that it can be a tad bit depressing when everyone thinks you're too man? but it's okay i guess. i need it for now anw.. for the love of my sport, sacrifices have to be made.. =/ sad life.

so yeah am sourcing for material for badboy's birthday now.. dont think he'd see this entry anytime before receiving the present itself..

back kinda hurts quite abit.. physio starts next week lol.. i really dont know how to answer the doctors when they ask me whether whichever part they're poking hurts or not cos i seriously cant rmb what it was like before i injured my back. it's just, well, there i guess? meh strange strange..

so yst i saw and heard of something quite disturbing. it's not reaally the action but it was just unexpected i guess. but it's cool. im cool. it's okay it's normal..

yeah.

olivejuice// Happy early 35th mth!

everything burns

it's finally monday. very strange hectic weekend..

saturday:
1. water trg: sub 12 again but slower by 1sec ugh. weights afterwards was fun..
2. showered in sch
3. got prata sausage at amk hub and just loner-ed ard for an hour or so.. alone time's really nice and calming sometimes..
4. flockey: i scored 2 goals. tyco hahaha! pong thinks i've got a canoe physique lol
5. mug/nap with farin: i bought corn at macs haha
6. met mom and sisters at yishun for dinner and to decorate cuz's room for her wedding next week. i was too shagged to help owells. oh one of my aunts share the same anniversary as nazzer as i. hoho must be a sign.. =)

Sunday:
physics tuition till 1.45. then parents left for a wedding so sisters and i rushed parents' anniversary scrapbook. and i gave sis math tuition and ironed my clothes, showered & prayed. and all this before i left home at 4.40 yup.. yeah and i got the cake otw to the mrt..

anws cake was to celebrate the term1 babies so yeah happy birthday all of you.. i was 17mins late while some were like 2hrs plus late.. then during dinner and waiting for some others to finish eating, a bunch of them disappeared without notice.. yeah so we didnt eat the cake before the show, which was pretty annoying.. owells wasnt planning to eat it anw cos i didnt think it was halal..

lol dim sum dollies was very retarded but still entertainingly funny.. the actors were very hot and had super sexy voices wooh! liyana was going orgasmic over hossan leong, who btw happened to pass by us outside afterwards but she didnt notice until i spun her around and then she gaped for some time.. strange strange..

i find class bonding very annoying. didnt really wanna have dinner together cos it turned out the way i expected it to be.. plus all the hypocritical bullshit about class bonding when everyone just does their whatever is -.-

i miss you
olivejuice//

good weather

no more emo heh. sorry for being pissy angsty and pmsy. horrible horrible emo oh dear..

i think i feel better partly also cos i've cleared both hist term assignments, gp essay and whatever else that i find particularly annoying.. oh and i understand vectors so life is just superbly awesome.. =)

and i've decided that eventho nazzer's the most busy and annoying being on this planet, i still love my boyfriend very very much.

tsk mush. time for maths!

olivejuice//

get a clue

Olivejuice// 2 years of signing off this way.. :)

love can be difficult.

argh depressed sad confused and fucking ihist.

SAY NO TO EMO! wise words indeed, myuk.

get a clue

so vday was very nice.. started off with the vday "exchange" with the guys team in the morning at the stadium. we gave them balloons on sticks and they sang 'It's all about you' with hongcheng and marcus-i-think playing the guitar, and they gave us a rose and a phonesock each =)

then the 5a guys bought roses from entre for each of the girls and they sang "when you say nothing at all(is that the title of the song?)" before maths lecture but na & i werent there cos we went to the florist near macritchie to get cheap flowers =/ yup then thruout the day there were gifts being passed ard and stuff and it was nice.

then had swensens with nazzer at bpp. sunset-watching at the pj roof didnt work out lol.. nice enough date yup..

take5 on friday was relatively entertaining. saikang-ed for canoe duathlon for most of take5. i was assigned the landing zone so i carried & alligned boats and i was the only girl working alongside 3 guys.. =/ i slept at 4am the night before so i was basically surviving on adrenaline and endorphins the whole day.. lol the titanic slide was fun. & the giant spiderweb haha! "canoe girls coming! -disperse" lol..

lunched with 5a then we crashed royce's place where we did the cny toss-thing, played games and i watched abit of Saw2 before going home with taufiq..

weekend's uneventful so far. i havent started on ihist essay due tmr haha!

i think why im happy most of the time is because i've lowered my standards such that the littlest things can bring me joy. does this mean im truly happy or am i only kidding myself? =/

recipe to avoid disappoinment: lower your expectations. never anticipate. never hope.

i really hate you sometimes. hahaha love-hate relationship.

wo ai ni jiaolian!

today is teh bomb yay! firstly firstly sch was very short cos i hadta leave for the doc appointment again. it was very strange cos it's really really a sports doc this time and did strange tests and stuff and came to the conclusion that my muscles are very overworked and i needta cut down trgs by 50%.. well monday trgs are very short redi cos of maths rem so i spose im only cutting down 1 trg..? more time to study now too i guess.. C average for CTs lol.. ohyeah and i declined the doctor's offer to be excused from napfa.. O.o

yup then went for brunch with dad then we went to the Honda showroom to look at cars cos dad's planning to either swap for a smaller mpv or buy a smaller car and rent out the current one sometimes.. honda stream's got a VERY ugly interior. dont buy. yup then bim called and reminded me bout take5 briefing so dad sent me back to sch.. there was a sexy red Lotus in front of us so we rolled down our windows to listen to the engine and the low growly throttle is teh sex i swear i might've orgasmed.. O.o but yeah very very very sexy..

yeah then trg. jiaolian gave py and i our vday presents! I ROWED K4!!! and py rowed k2 with cheryl. ahahahahahaha yayy! it was awesome and so fast and we were faster than like every other boat which is super rare with the fat t1 and it felt so niceee and i was just soaking in every second of the 8k.. every stroke, every kick, every tilt. i rmb how the water from the splashing paddles were blinding and deb's frequency was fast(if i rowed like that in t1 my arms would've dislocated by now) and deb saying "keep up the pace" and bim saying "watch left/right tilt" and prav saying "follow follow!" & "syimah your strokee!", when i actually had my left paddle face in the water when the others had their right side in.. and chanting to myself "be still my spasmic butt" cos i'd have sudden convulsions, hence causing the boat to tilt. strange strange..

yar then after 8k, jiaolian told prav and i to row k1 and =( t1 respectively. jiaolian patted my head when he told me to row t1 haha!

py and i rowed 6k on our t1. it was very depressing. fat t1 that moves 0h so little with every stroke. fat t1 that requires so much energy and lack of rudder tt can make directioning so super annoying.. it's not that i dont love my bloody mary. but yeah you just get sick of it, yeah?

so yup tt basically was my super awesome day =)

eh it's 12 redi.. HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY, WORLD! =D
hot date with superbusynazzerwhomanagestofitmeintohisscheduleandthusishouldbegratefulandcontent tmr/today..

wanted to make vday prezzes for the dudes but im now sleepy..

olivejuice//

productive

yes today was a productive day. =) finished seahist essay before 12. started on sunday aftn, found out tt my outline was wrong on monday, worked on it for abit last night, but officially started today.. lol i'd be glad to simply pass the essay at least for a day's work..

gonna start on ihist tmr/today yup! actually im sposed to be typing my essay now (yar i wrote out my essay cos i think better tt way) =/ but i cant bring myself to do it cos my brain's shagged..

doctor's appointment tmr/today.. dad's fetching me at 9.45 so i'll be missing quite alot of lessons today.. lol im just gonna pay for the doctor to tell me im okay, since he already told me i was fine and tmr's just a check-up to see if anything came up.. which i dont think anything did ah.. yay for improved strokes and greater tolerance for pain!

oh yar. yst was traumatising. die wenchun & nigel, die. an expanse of white. ouch

vday in two days and i havent gotten anyone anything.. i apologize on behalf of the hist essays. it's their fault uhuh

i should go type my essay now

olivejuice//

adventurous spirit

went hiking at bt hill with nazzer again.. haha it's been awhile.. we used the cylists' route like the previous time and it was just as fun yup! but he was being a grouch and complained quite abit esp about being in the sun. i swear he's more of a girl than i am.. O.o i love you still dont worry lol..

ooh and a snake approximately the length of my forearm slithered very near on the ground in front of me at the pretty green fields. and and we saw a moniter lizard too omg scary! hhhaaha. we went back thru the bt hill route somewhere along the stretch of green fields and reached the visitor centre ard 3.5 hrs after we started yup! super fun day yay i like hiking! =D

oh thursday was family outing at sentosa. place was bloody packed it was UGH and alot of ppl just change in public and it was so disturbing! and i hate it when little boys shower openly in the female toilets.. =(

anw outing was fun ah. soaked in the water for abit, played retarded games, ate nice food and watched Songs of the sea, which had super cool effects even tho the plot left much to be desired..

okay that's pretty much everything that's happened.. ooh exciting life! O.o havent started on hist essays boos..

kay sleepy..
olivejuice//

fallen and bruised

right so it's been three days into the week and it's not looking so good.. very exciting and very eventful, some of which i would gladly do without..

so monday, i got stood up by the class for our super exciting class bonding session. i should have known.. but i think it was the ordering food in bit that got me enthu bout getting the class together. maybe they knew i had an ulterior motive. hmm.. f**ked up still la owells..

in any case, thank you fiona&linda who came early and played badminton doubles with na and i at the amphi, making a complete fool of ourselves but it was fun lol..

mondaymonday.. oh limbay didnt come again. childcare leave or something again.. yup so while waiting for maths to start, wenchun was showing us super imba dragon pushups, which basically consists of pushing off the ground and clapping behind your back before you go back down. well he actually clapped in front first before the back and that really was Very impressive.. yar so anw, i tried to do one too. i honestly dont know what i was thinking. perhaps i wasnt at all cos the experience left me with a huge bump and bruise on my chin. the bruise spread and turned purple compared to the initial concentrated blood red but the bump still feels the same. im disfigured ack..

Tuesday. not much happened. decorated the back of the class, which didnt turn out too well cos the black sheets all just fell from the wall anw. got a haircut.. doesnt look too good ah.. but it could be cos of my bruise, which looks like a goatee, so i kinda look like a guy overall.. =/

Wednesday. no sch today so i crashed rg's cny celebrations with shuning and ge. i only caught a glimpse of the first lion dance performance by the part bs(now part ds) eventho i ran from the busstop when sn told me they were starting.. =/ but we managed to watch the full one for the lower sec session and they were not bad ah.. my partas were very pro with the cymbals yupp! =D

so anw it was like some huge reunion cos the j3s(batch '05), us (batch '06), the j1s (batch '07) came back too and it was quite exciting.. the part bs asked to take an '05 company photo so we did.. quite cool ah..

then sn and ge went off for reunion lunches so i went to the macs at lido to do physics before meeting the dudes at 11.. farin wasnt coming, melz eventually came at 11.45 and na was the best, 12.25 was it? and in tt span of time, i managed to lose my wallet/pouch thing which had 35bucks and my ezlink, while moving around, waiting. ($15 of which was money i owe melz, so now i need to cough up another $15 for past consumption). $19 ezlink replacement fee + $20 top-up. and my pouch was relatively new and costed me $8. so yeah i lost approx 80bucks today. i have about $10 for the month. hopefully getting more when i tuition sis but yeah bloody broke..

definitely definitely not my day.

family gathering at sentosa tmr. 2 hist essays due in about a week.

quite definitely not gonna be a good year either. sucks

i am the captain of my soul

a little something from meera,

Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

good day finally

SUB-12 PB FTW! yst was an awesome awesomeee day. quite some of us got new pbs too yup! muchly thanks to meera who did k1 and was freakingg fast eventho she didnt startburst due to lack of stability and proceeded to make me pace her. damn imba pls.. weights was fun. =)

then nw 'fetched' me at macs busstop and we went to amk hub for prata sausage and old chang kee whee.. then we went for flockey. flockey's really really funnn.. then it started raining so we sat ard hoping it'd stop raining.. and zaidi was flirting with my nazri and they were snuggling and took pictures and made me jealous humph. O.o

nw treated me to madjack. YAY! quality time ftw..

overall, superbly wonderfully awesome day.. =)

today wasnt very productive tho bother.. =(

olivejuice//

do you remember?

it was the 26th of March, 2005. the girl woke up early that morning for a group meeting at Vivien's house. she got lost, as was customary whenever she finds herself in the residential area of Bukit timah, but finally made it there soon enough. for the next few hours, they practised OM spontaneous questions. it wasnt all that productive but fun nonetheless. they then had lunch where viv's mommy bought the girl mee soto cos the food at home wasnt halal. O.o

it was raining when she left and she made her way to Buona vista mrt. He was late, which she soon learned was customary too. he had been working for his dad all morning and sneaked her a little something. she chose the No drugs ink pen over the bunch of highlighters..

they took the train to Somerset and walked the short distance to Cineleisure to check movie timings. upon discovering that there were no shows with suitable timings, they crossed over to Heeren, trudging through the crowd of girls swooning over a bunch of males performing on stage for a Cleo competition, to where her friend was queueing for a free makeover.

the girl then dragged the boy, half-willingly up the escalator to take neoprints. it was his first and it was theirs too. she then waved goodbye to her friend who was being caked on with makeup and they made their way out into the streets. they stopped by Old chang kee where they bought squidheads..

as they walked along Orchard road, they got free helium balloons. they walked some more and soon came across an adult shop. a bunch of lecherous-looking men were sitting across the shop, leering at people as they walked past. the mischevious two still held the satay sticks from their earlier consumption and thought that it would be fun to pop the balloons with their sticks and give the men a scare. and indeed it was. they walked on..

passing by Tangs, the two accepted a free cup of mineral water each from a random woman. after walking through the crowd for abit further, the boy suddenly claimed that the girl had blocked his way when he was about to get another cup of water from another woman.. -.-

they finally made it to Lido where they proceeded to stand in a long queue for tickets to The Eye 10. they listened to songs on his mp3 player while they waited, both not saying much cos there wasn't much to be said. it was strangely nice..

he offered her his jacket in the theater, which is huge and comfy and smelled of him. during one of the scenes, the girl got freaked when something scary appeared on the movie screen and promptly hid under the jacket. at the same time, he too ducked. (he was scared though he claims that it was only so that she wouldnt be embarrassed) they both stared at each other in the dark for a brief moment.

when the show ended, they walked over to the busstop to head on home. they found out that they were waiting for the same bus. the bus that came was quite full but soon after, two seats were available. she sat and asked him if he'd like to sit too. he sat, but as far away from her as he could, with his legs hanging off the seat into the aisle, and took out his geog homework to do. amused, she simply let him be. at Phoenix, he got off to catch another bus and they parted ways.
it was a sunday morning and she usually slept in. it was after her morning prayers when they started sms-ing back and forth. it was then that he popped the question. she was in shock. she deliberated her answer for abit and waited for her best friend to reply her urgent message. exhausted from all the excitement, she fell back into a deep slumber.

approximately 2hours later, where in that time, the boy had been tortured quite enough, she awoke and her answer to his question was yes.. hillary duff no longer rocked his world.. =)

Happy belated 34th, nw! 2 more months, yes? haha!

on a side note, training today was horrible. yet another deproved 2k timing.. how demoralizing..

aight i think i've wasted enough time, time to call it a night yup!

i love you//

circumstances

trg today was good.. hit another pb and jiaolian was happy.. im still blacklisted cos of my terrible attendance, but still, he has faith in me so im good.. not too sure what's gonna happen to the rest of teammates and it's really ugh.. we gotta do this together manz. we row as one.

right so econs test was.. do-able. i wonder why hmmm

oh yes napfa trials on monday. sbj was good but ipulls was horrid! super unfair la wth.. and 2.4 was pretty bad.. 13.02.. it's been awhile since i ran slower than 12 plus so.. =/ sucks.

other than tt, sch's been pretty fun.. quite mugger ah this week.. goodgood..

okay that's all i guess.

olivejuice//

time of your life

you know, when time seems to pass way too fast for you to think about your actions or anything else. when your very actions seem to have been decided by someone else. my life is spinning out of my control and im too bloody tired to take charge. dammit as if i even had the power to do anything about it. okay more like willpower ah but nvm.

i train my ass off. i know what i want, i want the gold. but it's consuming my life so much, i dont seem to have time to do anything else. i hardly have time for my friends. or they dont have the time for me, come to that.

my studies? god my grades are just dying and i know im the one to be bloody blamed but wth am i doing now? blogging! -shakes head.

studies aside, what really bothers me is my messed up non-academic life. (not that my academics arent messed up la but ohwells)

sometimes you just think tt you've really messed up with the ppl around you. you've missed out on so much. then you think, it's okay you dont need them anyway. so you turn to that one person but you know you cant truly depend on just one person cos Man just isnt made like that. and after all, isnt it always 'bros before hos'?, to quote tt dude from Transformers, though perhaps it's not quite as suitable in this context. right anw, point is, friends are important, but what if you're just not important to them anymore? what if you feel left behind cos You've chosen to be left behind. and now perhaps it's just too late.

and as always, awesome timing to think about my emotional baggage what with looming As and all. time of my life? totally manz.

have i mentioned that i hate my writing skills? quite obviously i have reason to, no? haha wth. bloody school makes me feel so stupid. and everyone else in it too.

idealist

when your expectations of yourself and others reach the point of impracticality, you just have to learn not to care.

works well enough.

happy

yst was a very very nice day.. training in the morning was awesome. was kinda dreading trg since i hadnt gone for 3 trgs this week and was pretty much off form. but hoho i finally hit another pb since dec and it really was a superduper great feeling esp considering tt i capped before i could finish 2k timing last week. so YAY!

yup then walked back to sch with jr and bern, since the back gate is no longer climb-able due to the new shelter and fence.. -.- so yeah then i crashed Mcs orientation for a short while cos they had leftover food, then went for shower. then walked to faraway busstop to take bus to adam rd to meet nw. quality time ftw! =)

going out with mom no woo.. so much for mugging manz.

olivejuice//

placebo effect

i think my throat is getting better.. =/

very screwed up week thanks to my swollen throat.. fever on sunday and subsequent random attacks of headaches tt i may have taken advantage of and have since then done little studying. didnt go for the past three trgs this week too. took a blue slip yst and parents fetched me after civics on their way to the market. class comm reelections yst.. quite some changes but some of us stayed on.. fungs and i are still co-ct reps ooh.. so exciting. i should be doing ihist now..

browsed thru the startutor site tt lakshmi suggested and i might be getting an econs and/or physics tutor.. see how ah, gotta ask dad first..

water trg tmr, i should be able to go. i feel awfully guilty manz but im sick. yar.. =/

right ihist ftw.

wise words

i just read bim's blog and i just had to quote something that muddy said sometime back,

"In school we show them what a canoeist means. At macritchie we show them what a rafflesian means." =)

love you guys!

m18 ftw!

still aching from thursday's trg wtg.. so anw trg yst was quite fun.. concentrated more on my strokes cos it's allegedly the cause of my backaches. i think it's true ah so mehs. anws, yangyang came back to help out and watch our strokes and all tt.. very very helpful yay! oh and 2k timing was just horrible! i thought was making pretty good time despite the bloody wind and just as i passed the 500m mark back, and was tilting to fix my direction, Splosh! i was in the water. wth i capped! wtg! damn damn damn damn annoying! and i got saved by a cj k1 and rowed back with more than half my boat in the water. boos. but 200m bursts was good.. =)

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ROS FARINA BTE R. FAUZI! sorry i couldnt join you guys for dinner but whee surprise present tmr, yes? =D

okay done updating my player. no longer hafta forward songs hoho! meh i need a new player.. =/

aights back to maths!

dieded

gym trg today was gg. well gym was alright actually but the sets before gym was hell. my quads are so freaking dead gar.

sch was okay. productive enough i guess.. lessons are kicking into full gear and gosh gotta gotta gotta mug. one of my resolutions for 2008 was to mug at least 2hrs a day on top of damn tiring trg but it hasnt really worked out yet.. like yst, i mugged for about 10mins before i knocked out. -.- wtg! must must mug!

i got round to using the money jar system and i've finally managed to get enough change for every pouch. yay to financial planning!

so anw, the holiday to malaysia was fun enough.. 2 days in Malacca and 2 days in Cameron highlands.. i didnt know tt we were gonna stay in malacca until we got there.. =/ yay to surprises! and also, we intended only to stay in cameron highlands for a day but dad realized tt a day there after a 1.5 hrs drive wasnt worth it so yeah tt's why i got back in spore only at 9.30pm the night before sch started.. mehs.

anws, Happy 2008 everyone! cameron highlands super tak happening sia. no countdown no nothing.. ended up watching xmen marathon to sleep.. =/

new year resolutions!
1. lose weight/eat less (we took height&weight for pe today. i shrunk 1cm and my weight is.. yar)
2. mug at least 2hrs a day (as mentioned)
3. dont sleep in tutorials/lectures (i almost fell asleep while rowing yst tho. strange!)
4. put in my all for every training plus dont kill my back
5. do 6 pullups by feb! (btw muddy says tt if i can do a pullup, i should be able to do lat pull-downs of double my weight.. nyeh)
6. do not be distracted by um, outside commitments..

i cant rmb the rest! i wrote somewhere in my diary i think.. owells.

time to mug~!