jerk

this will be a short entry. bim & i ponned pe today cos we were both sick. (bern was sick too but she hardcored pe anw. capt ftw!) haha so anw we got tired and decided to sleep. i had my head on my bag and she had her head on my legs. annen after sometime, i dreamt that i slipped and fell, then i felt my whole body jerk. so i woke up to see if bim felt it too. at that moment she woke up and said that she dreamt that she was rowing, and when i jerked, she capped.

obsessed canoeists ftw! =)

school today was awesome.

olivejuice//

move on

so today was another round of races.. rj did pretty well, much better than nats and the sheer determination and team spirit was overwhelming and simply wow. =)

i was still sore bout our cap this morning.. i hadnt set my alarm so i was late and missed the k4 500m heats.. ge said it would've made me feel good cos the rj boat was so far ahead and apparently we were like that yst too.. hmm. so owells stoning and staring at the water made me feel awful so i kept myself busy, talking, psyching teammates, carrying boats and running with selene etc. but no matter what, everytime i stopped busying myself or whenever i was alone, my mind would wander back to yst's incident and i felt so loser-ish cos everyone was happy or focused on their next race or something and i was just dwelling on the past..

nazzer came by at 3 and left at 4.. we avoided ppl and stayed under the trees mostly and watched most of the races from there.. nazzer may not be very good with handling messed up emotional girls, but his presence was comforting and i felt a whole lot better afterwards yup!

prize presentation was rather fast and rj is teh noisy and camwhore haha! hmm our k4 managed to get over yst and we talked bout it without breaking down and all.. so yup we're strong, and all you lucky ppl in our finals better watch out.. uhuh.. so anw followed the girls for dinner at cafe cartel afterwards but i couldnt buy anything so i brought in a mcflurry which jr kopped like a poor deprived vege-eater(which she is) haha! and i was being a terrible muslim cos after a long while of seeing the girls eat the freeflow of bread, i ate one/four so py was considering what could possibly make the bread not halal but ohwell if anyone knows why it should be not-halal, pls keep it to yourself yup..

apparently there'll be friendlies on 19th. so wth i'll see bout the month-long break.. maybe i can recover in a week..? ugh hope so..

olivejuice//

keep our heads high

i honestly didnt consider the possibility of capping. at least not when we were lined up at the start. i was going for the gold. i set my heart, my mind, my everything on it. race started and we rowed hard, we were second to nj. and then it happened. god i can still see it so clearly in my mind.. there was this sudden huge tilt and we were shouting nonono and desperately tried to tilt back but it was no use.

im really sorry for everything, michelle,ge,deb. im sorry that whatever i said in the water made you guys feel worse, i really didnt mean it to be. and ugh i was so shaky and everything.. t1 noob in a k4.. i feel awful.

we were so close. and thinking bout today reminds me of women's open last year and i was so close then too. and nats, i didnt even bloody row cos i gave up before i could even try.. i should have just shut up bout the pain then, cos just like today, i rowed eventho my back was hurting damn bad cos i didnt wanna let the k4 down. which means i could've rowed for nats cos the pain's all in the mind. but i guess ge rowing in my place for nats was best for the team, and she really did damn well too for someone who was made to row at such short notice..

today feels like a very bad dream. everything just feels so surreal..

when we were in the water, i rmb being very disappointed but still relatively calm.. when we got back on our boat and had to row back, it struck me then that we had to row back to shore, defeated and it just felt so horrible.. and ge and mich were crying and i told them to stop but before long, i was crying too and i just couldnt help the feeling of regret and letting everyone down..

now that i've let out all that's been bothering me, i can let go of today completely and move on..

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

i will be stronger. im sorry if the k4 girls disagree with me, but i think we have given it our all, and what happened was beyond our control.. let's stay strong and look forward to better races in the future.. rmb when we prayed before our race? you guys asked for God to give you strength to handle whatever that may happen. rmb the screwups during nats last year? and how the j3s were so strong and kept their heads high even then? let's just hold on to the memory of coming in first during our heats and how good it felt, cos we're gonna make it happen again for future races.. =)

my thanks and love goes to the entire team, both girls and guys, for cheering us on and cheering us up and the girls esp for making me smile even when i felt like crap..

im very motivated to train doubly hard now, but by decree of the sports doc and my dad, im not to row for a month, (cept for saturdays cos i managed to bargain for it) and i feel so guilty.. how can i expect to win a gold when im missing so many trgs while other schs will be training like mad? tsk..

i should go sleep now or something. back hurts so bad bother..

olivejuice//

it's been great

school today was.. random. from super impromptu civics-class-bonding session, where the class was thankfully thankfully cooperative enough, to jap visitors (whom i introduced myself as watashiwa kawaii des) and beep test during pe. eh i was classified as Good. hahaha. i got till 8.9 only cos 1) i was tired and 2) hence when i forgot to turn after 8.9 due to stonededness, i just stopped running. but i was honest and ran end-to-end ohkays! and ended up second last to plop off for the second batch. shuninny did up till 9plus ah. pro seh. soccer player pfft.

meeting for camp was -.- ohwells..

it was raining veh heavily so we left for macs at 4.30.. i didnt row cos we werent doing k4 and my back is dying. Very pain. boos.

nazzer came at 5.30 to fetch me yupp. dinner at vivo was nice.. secret recipe's affordable and pretty yummy leyh.. haha but i still want to try the food at Earle swensens cos farin says it's yummy and the serving's huge. hmmmm..

and then after dinner, nazzer decided that he needed to poop and so he did, (cos we're romantic like that).. then i bought ice cream at 711 and emo-ed at this bridge thing outside of vivo and when nazzer was done pooping, i couldnt shake off the emo mood still. until much much later when i realized that i was wasting precious quality time being stupid. yes i am a rational, understanding and nice girlfriend. O.o.O in any case, thankyou for the treat, love.. =)

so i ponned sch on tues and wed cos of physio and doc appt respectively.. i LOVE the massage by my physio.. =)) ohyar and on wed, after the appt, i went to dad's office to have lunch with sis who's working with him(free food mah).. then i realized that i forgot to collect my meds from the pharmacy wtg! so i rushed back to sch to discuss camp with sh (omg shenghao has the same initials as me! ahhhhhhhhhhh) D= okay then afterwards i rushed to ah (which surprisingly took 20mins only O.o!) and then back to macs for trg.. k4 was pretty good..

BACK BLOODY HURTS. awesome timing manz..

okay now i have to do a CT rep reflection thing for leadership week. gayness mehs..

olivejuice// Happy 3 years! love you muacks! O.o

gar

effing camp and screw ups and rubbish from That bugger and annoying self-impt two-faced shithead. what did i do to deserve The worst working partner ever? if he disproves our revised plan.. wtf whatever pissed off.

need sleep

olivejuice// i think i make better company than kt tunstall.

rainbow after the rain

this is random but i watched Gameplan and Beauty & the Beast in the living room with my sisters on friday night. i cried watching the former, when the rock told the reporter how much he loved his daughter cos he looked so earnest and torn and aww. =/ and the Beast is really really damn hot. and agile like when he jumped over the bannister. and his roar is sexy. and cute when he was feeding the birds. but his human form was so ugly my sisters and i laughed. haha!

watched Stardust yet again today.. i lovelove it. and the song for the credits is pretty, Rule the world by Take that. yupyup!

some other shows which i find very nice, which i can think of now:
(only the family shows)

Shrek
Moulin rouge
A walk to remember
Narnia
27 dresses
Stardust
Spiderman
Beauty and the beast ><
Cinta
Sepet

that's all i can think of now. =/ okay random post over.

rainbow after the rain

so the long weekend's been good.. went out with the other three on friday and i was 2-3hrs late cos i was chionging camp stuff (which btw has an uber exciting theme, courtesy of shenghao and i).. missed na's ear-piercing, which reminds me that i want a cartilage piercing but my mom'd kill me nyeh.. so i got art stuffs for sisters' birthdays and we didnt do all that much after that cos na left for horton, which i wanna go watch but am broke, and melz&freen went for dinner, which sounded pretty cool in melz' blog.. ohyeah headed for aunts afterwards..

saturday was fun as usual.. trg at macs in the morning was surprisingly ggxx. did 500s and 2 2k timings and startbursts in my t1.. i was using k strokes on my t1 cos i didnt wanna readapt yet but eventho it felt strange, i think it's actually better. cos i felt more glide and was barely tired by 1k and was ahead of an unmentionable.. but hmm it could be nothing ah, i forgot to ask jiaolian for my timings.. =/

something horrible happened during my row tho, ugh. yeah after startbursts, deb was yelling at michelle and i.. plopped right from t1 to k4.. manz felt damn weird.

6 days to njcc

waited for nazzer, then we went for lunch at amk hub then grabbed a bus to flockey, which was awesome as usual.. we were doing some passing drills and it was fun and khairul looked sho cute when he got the puck into the square before any of us could haha! we only got to play a short game, whereby nazzer blocked 3 of my shots, before it rained.. then coach shaiful offered nazzer and i grandstand balcony tix to Spore vs Australia at the kallang stadium.. my parents let me go shockingly..

dropped by fareast to get books for sis and had dinner and we ended up late for the game.. =/

well eventho neither team scored a goal, which was quite disappointing cos i wanted to see a live goal, i got to see ppl getting injured/faking injury and some aussie player shoved a spore player for no apparent reason and a bunch of patriotic aussie kids who went "aussie aussie aussie. oy oy oy!".. and haha yay another new experience! going home with nazzer at night is very nice.. got lectured when i got home at 11.30 hoho!

slack day today ohnoes.. time to do some physics now yup!

olivejuice// 4 days to three.

random photos

An old picture i found that captures my appreciation and love for Swensens' Mega burger.. =)

Some pictures from parents' anniversary Malacca trip.

mush mush parents ack!

posing wahahas!

Kenny Rogers is LOVE.

haha. okay that's all ><

happy!

yst was very very very nice. physics paper was alright haha! yeah then hung ard at the library and borrowed books and settled some camp stuff and looked out of the lib at the mph at the rest of the ppl still sitting for bio/h2 physics.. ><

yup then went for swensens with some of the class ppl.. some ppl were pda-ing and it was relatively strange.. so yeah food was awesome and the company was great.. oh and badboy bought me a $1 bouncy ball yayy!

trg was quite good.. i did ak2 for the first time hahahaha! super exciting yes! did 2k without capping =)) then ge came and we did k4.. eh no at first we did k3 cos michelle hadnt come back yet haha! then we had a sudden cap. =/

so yeah k4.. It only just struck me yst tt i was not ready to compete in a boat tt's completely foreign to me.. 1) i still have to learn to isolate my butt. the rest are used to aks so they're like damn stable. D= 2) t1 strokes are quite diff. i've adapted to the k strokes but it still feels strange.. 3) frequency damn fast. 4) end burst is madness. t1 is like full body exercise. you use pretty much every part of your body all the time. to kick, to tilt etc. and the boat rocks like mad esp during bursts.

k4's killing me.

oh and we left macritchie later than usual yst night and we got a preview of the creatures of the night that resided in macs. Flying squirrels! omg there were 2 of them in a tree and we actually got to see em in flight. wahahs freaking cool!

hmm anw i screwed hist paper. 4 essays. 2 for internatl and 2 for sea hist. here are the no of lines i wrote:
1: 2
2: 1 pg 5 lines
3: 4 lines
4: 3 lines
because i studied the night before and the information that actually stuck were as fragmented as the southeast asian govts post-independence..

alright i gotta buck up and start mugging next week. in the mean time, im gonna partay over the weekend.. =) post-cts ftw~!

gotta plan induction camp now tho. boos

olivejuice//

my favourite things

i just remembered a little something bim blogged about not too long ago,

when the dog bites, when the bees sting,
when im feeling sad,
i simply remember my favourite things,
and then i dont feel so bad.

so yeah some of my favourite things include,

1. fluffy clean towels (cos i was showering when i rmbed the song =/)
2. nice calming holidays (like the one to genting last june, eventho i had to face CTs shortly afterwards..)
3. food.
4. rowing under the huge clouds at macritchie
5. sleeping/reading to sleep
6. babies. cept when they poop, vomit or cry
7. hanging out with friends doing random nothings
8. starbucks
9. gym-ing
10. nazri

actually i think the song really is quite right. i feel quite alot better now haha!

right so im quite definitely gonna screw cts, which really is very very sad. and i really fear what ggm's gonna do bout it. as in the C average thing.. i really really really wanna row for the school, myself and the team. it's just Ugh i cant seem to get out of this vicious circle(the girls said it's circle, not cycle)..

btw bim, it's alright, it's okay. we'll be here for you so just come back in one piece and pwnz njcc like i know you will aights? =)

so im off to tutor sis for a short bit now.. yes i know i should be mugging but i still need to collect money cos im just super duper broke bah..

oh yeah and cos nw told me to blog about it, he's planning to open a prata lan shop. smart i guess but the prata is just way random. plus i dont like prata.. =/

on the other hand, im gonna dedicate part of my house, a landed property hopefully, like a wing or something. a building just for my activity centre for kids. haha it'll be quite cool la. like i can still be with my kids while helping other kids! =DD

but of course if i cant even pass my cts, i dont know how im gonna achieve all that. bah big dreams..

olivejuice//

painfully perfect

back from malacca yup!

due to our most favourite escaped bandit, there was a massive jam at tuas. then later in johor, there was an accident that held us up for a long time too. plus a few other contributing factors, we were off our schedule by 5 hours. =//

in any case, it was a hugee party of 9 mpvs and a whole lot of babies and toddlers. it was super havoc thanks to the kids, which made the whole trip very fun wooh!

the events in pointform:
1. superbadfrustratingboring jam.

2. sleeping in car

3. detour @ ayer hitam for uber yummy putu bamboo & coconut drink.

4. reached Mahkota Hotel Malacca at 5.30pm(instead of 12.30), so we couldnt shop before dinner as planned.

5. annying ungrateful buggering aunts. (gar.)

6. seafood dinner. uncle at malacca helped us book a place and order the food and everything. we came 1-2 hrs late so the food that was already laid out was cold. =( but all of us were super hungry anw so we pretty much cleared the 6-7 tables.

7. i had to walk an oldd aunty to the toilet. we were on the second floor (like some exclusive party like that seh), so going down the stairs with her was some arduous task that took foreverr. plus there's some history between her and mom so being nice to her felt abit strange..

8. post-dinner speeches and present-giving and cake & pulut cutting lol

9. back to hotel. went up to shower and pray. mom booked karaoke room for 2hrs for 100rm
(meh). dad's side was karaoke-ing first. when we came down, most of them were gone but mom's side was there.. segregation ftw yo.

10. took little cousins/nephews/nieces out to sit by the pool. little nephew was being hyper and mad. found out the next day that he was laughing and crying to himself at night. so yeah they claimed that he saw "something" though we wont know for sure ah

11. went to bed at 1.30am

12. woke up to pray and get ready for breakfast but apparently we were 1hr early so we went back to sleep.

13. breakfast. gave parents the scrapbook/album thing which we made. the cards that sis and i passed to our relatives didnt all make it back to us but there was enough i guess. album turned out pretty well.. =)

14. swimming~! cept that shirt & pants were apparently not allowed in the pool so i hadta change out to proper swimwear.. ugh bulging tummy.
- entertained the kids. got bullied by the kids. and hung ard with the guys, which is something i havent done in a long while..

15. showered, cleaned out, checked out.

16. parents went to drop grannies at our kampung to stay for a few days and newly-married cousin also followed to introduce the new member of the family..

17. so sisters and i independently lunched and shopped on the money they gave. 200rm for food and extra money each to shop hoho! kenny rogers is lovelovelove~!

18. i like the stuffs at F.O.S yay!

19. got my Javachip venti at starbucks and other ventis for sisters too yup..

20. homebound by 4.15pm.

21. detour to mini malaysia but it was closed. stayed for about 30-45mins to shop for little things and have a drink.

22. stop somewhere else for prayers.

23. cars partnered up and we headed on to spore at own pace.

24. we stopped at gelang patah cos i kept badgering dad bout getting the cheesy wedges from kfc. we went to the toilet first. so when we walked to kfc, the last customer was leaving and the guy was standing at the door. apparently it closes at 10.30 and this was at 10.15. i turned ard to look at sisters, and when i turned back, he was locking up the door. D: i guess it wasnt meant to be.. -sad

25. smooth flowing at malaysian checkpoint & tuas. got home at 11.45..

i think my family seems quite perfect on the outside, especially to our relatives but i guess it's all relative.. =/

so yup pretty awesome weekend holiday overall despite minor problems here & there.. =)

i love you, mama & abah! ><

olivejuice//

away

i cant believe im going away to malacca over the weekend. CTs in little over a week. bloody screwed gar..

so sis got her results today.. not very good but wayy huge improvement from her prelims so woooh there's hope for me yet! =D

anw i wanted to treat sis to Pillowman and asked mom if i could get money from my back acct. then mom didnt let me but in the middle of the night she gave me $74 dollars and said it was her treat. so then i went to sistic but all the student priced tickets were sold out so after much deliberation i bought the $50 +$3 sistic charge tix.. mom was angry but she said she'd pay me the extra anws.. mom's very nice lately.. =/

okay so am looking forward to pillowman on 6april yay!

confirmed rowing k4 for njcc.. random manz but hooha all the way let's go~! O.o

gonna try mug abit before i call it a day..

okay and i think i'll put up tagboard for a week or so, just because i can. =)
olivejuice//

upside

not in school now. yay! physio just now was interesting.. mom insisted on coming along so she got to see me in my jersey for the first time. i think she was relatively disturbed.. more so about the much exposed skin rather than my muscles lol.. anw the doctor's very nice.. the massage was awfully painful i could've cried but she was telling my mom how my back's a prolonged injury and i happen to have a high tolerance for pain. so i bit my lip instead..

doc also taught me exercises to strengthen the lower/middle part of my back, which is relatively weaker than my upper back/wings/shoulders/lats.. and she wants me to work on my pecs. so pretty soon i guess my boobs might look smaller than my pecs. O.o that's quite disturbing..

heat therapy was itchy.

hmm what else what else.. life's looking up yes. sat water trg was very very very fun. it was raining when we came so we all huddled under the shelter trying to keep warm, watching ppl walk past.. =) yup then the natl team ppl were still doing time trials.. with so little time left, jiaolian let py and me do k2. wooh t1 kids ftw! we were pretty syncro and we capped only once and that's after bursting for 500s and i was too tired to tilt back nyeh..

yup and also when we were waiting for the rain to stop, the exciting chn-speaking ppl were talking to jiaolian and apparently(but perhaps not confirmed?) he wants me to row k4 for njcc cos there's no t1 race and it'd be a waste if i dont row.. hahaha. sweet. =D but i've only rowed k4 once in my life so good game manz..

flockey on sat was really really fun too yup! nazzer came an hour late -.- but he did pretty well for a goalie despite our super fast&strong attacking opponents namely luqman. haha but i scored two goals again! cos im so super pro yes~! lol one's a normal shot and the other was a backward shot between my legs. desperate times call for random fantastic goals wahahs!

cousin's wedding on sunday = unwilling child labour FOC. but owells it went smoothly so wooo..

right studies-wise, i have just got to buck up. study programme sounds pretty good and im thankful to the school though quite some ppl weren't too happy bout it.. i think my assentiveness to authority is greatly due to my years in ncc. ack screwed up..

alright mug!
olivejuice//