time of your life

you know, when time seems to pass way too fast for you to think about your actions or anything else. when your very actions seem to have been decided by someone else. my life is spinning out of my control and im too bloody tired to take charge. dammit as if i even had the power to do anything about it. okay more like willpower ah but nvm.

i train my ass off. i know what i want, i want the gold. but it's consuming my life so much, i dont seem to have time to do anything else. i hardly have time for my friends. or they dont have the time for me, come to that.

my studies? god my grades are just dying and i know im the one to be bloody blamed but wth am i doing now? blogging! -shakes head.

studies aside, what really bothers me is my messed up non-academic life. (not that my academics arent messed up la but ohwells)

sometimes you just think tt you've really messed up with the ppl around you. you've missed out on so much. then you think, it's okay you dont need them anyway. so you turn to that one person but you know you cant truly depend on just one person cos Man just isnt made like that. and after all, isnt it always 'bros before hos'?, to quote tt dude from Transformers, though perhaps it's not quite as suitable in this context. right anw, point is, friends are important, but what if you're just not important to them anymore? what if you feel left behind cos You've chosen to be left behind. and now perhaps it's just too late.

and as always, awesome timing to think about my emotional baggage what with looming As and all. time of my life? totally manz.

have i mentioned that i hate my writing skills? quite obviously i have reason to, no? haha wth. bloody school makes me feel so stupid. and everyone else in it too.