cos you're the only one for me

so it's 1am right now and im finishing up another episode of Gossip Girl. i think im somewhatt hooked but tt's not really a bad thing ryt? ): just gotta be able to stay awake at work tmr owells..

anw had lunch with nazzer darling today and it was really nice.. haha anw was just talking to na and i recalled part of my conversation with nazri today. so i was asking him bout vday and whether he'll be spending vday with me or buggers at tekong. so anw vday's on sat (hoorah) and this ensued (not the exact words i think but somewhere along these lines)
me: -pause. so are you planning or should i plan something?
him: how bout you not think bout it
me: and leave it up to you? -incredulous
him: yes
me: are you testing my faith in you?
him: if you put it that way

i have the most adorable boyfriend. ahwell and im adapting really well to the no nazri life, as in no more messages and calls only on alternate days. i thought tt i'd be miserable, me being clingy and all, or eventually realize tt i dont need him or someth. but believe it or not, i can manage to live a mostly nazri-less life quite fine and am pretty happy most of the time. as in i dont think about him 24/7 or pine for him or anything like that, but i do get insanely happy when he calls. hurrs. anw point is, now i know i want him, rather than actually needing him hmm

i guess this is how things are sposed to be. (:

lol i totally should blog bout our previous vday dates, not cos theyre amazing in a totally romantic way, but memorable, yes. ((: but not today, gotta finish up GG and sleep

olivejuice//

honking cabbies

omg they're so annoying la wtgg. fourth driving practical today and i got to drive on the public road again but it was so so so awful this time round cos 1. aftn vs evening (i like the nighttimee) 2. weekend vs cny (everyone's like indoors i guess?) 3. EFFING HONKING CAB DRIVERS 4. my driving skillz is lackingg. well for today at least cos like the stuff im pretty much okay with by now like moving off, was damn terrible today! wtf manual car and controlling clutch accelerator and stalling engine and driving instructor essentially told me tt my driving sucks. ):

went for another final theory prac before tt cos im damn worried for my theory evaluation on monday cos i suck. tt makes 3 days worth of theory prac in a row! kept dozing off during prac on thurs cos it was after work and i was exhaustedd and i failed all four booklets i did and tt scared me shitless so i signed up for another one on fri. dozed off yet again but this time i passed all five booklets i did and got full marks for two of em. today i failed one booklet D: meh.

yst was a rather strange day but i shant dwell hoho

i've been gossip girl-ing and im so in love with chuck bass and im only just starting season two which everyone tells me will make me love him so much more, ohnoes! anw i took a break from gg yst cos im turning into a fangirl and i refuse to be a liyana D:

okay com just finished loadng gossip girl heh.

EH i miss nazri leyh. bugger should be coming home from tekong later today yay..

I WANT MY PAY NAO. damn broke, so sad.

olivejuice//

orange! -shifty eyed

SO. let's start from the end. driving prac today was awesomeee.. cny = empty driving circuit = ghost town-ish = SUPER SAFE for driving and building up confidence yes. then then then i got to drive outside! omg 3rd lesson today and like when i was told to drive out i was like "-squeaks. out out??" HAHA. but super duper exciting grahhhh (:

okay next. Gossip Girl is loveee. DAN HUMPHREY! and chuck oh chuck.. D: and nazri doesnt understand my fascination with gg and i dont either but half the world is fangirling it as well gah i shouldnt but lubxlubxmuchly. -incoherent

in other news, work was okay. back to school = sianeddd but quite fun lah.. im hooked on horrible oily fries tt dont hold much appeal but i buy all the time anw DD:

nazzer news: met bugger this morning for an hour before work, where we took a nice somewhat leisurely stroll at lakeside, which is opp workplace.. 15mins of which my most charming boyfriend left me by my lonesome self, to poop. second time so far, tt i know of at least. first o incident being on our 3rd anniversary last year ack. sexy much..
anw we went to watch Changeling yst with nana haha wtgg.. nice show + strange company + one dollar off KFC 2pc chicken meal = awesome outing hurrs

monday was exciting too haha! family left for msia at like 4.30am? slept most of the way and like drooled all over my tudung cos im so sexy like that.. anw we camwhored like crazy at putra jaya which is a pretty enough place i guess.. but Mega Mall at Mid-Valley is awesomeeee. we're not much of a shopping family, so i only got 3 tops lol (54.50rm all together woo yay) but OMG they had ALL the good foods. kenny rogers, all sorts of fast food, my typical msian must-buy finger foods (ie. kaya balls, cup corn, chestnuts etc), sushi king, famous amos, aunty anne's, coffeebean, starbucks and most importantly, HALAL otherwise non-halal foods in singapore ie Carl's Jr YES! so darn decadent yayy. tastes quite alot like BK but the SIZE goshh.. and the fries are to die for. -happyhappyy. anw from what i rmb i had: Breakfast- mee soto and one chappati. Lunch Part 1- shared Nando's meal with sis but helped the others clear their plates as well heh. random foods incl takoyaki in between. Lunch Part 2- Carl's Jr!!! then starbucks & aunty anne's. Dinner- Lambchop. =D got home at ard 12am heh.

okay i think i've covered just about everythingg.. exciting life yay.

olivejuice// I WONT MISS YOU BUT COME BACK SOON TAU. ):

good life

woohkay havent blogged in a week. sch/work's been good. exciting video- editing, saikang-ing and watching after oh-so-adorable kids.. and cny hoho!

watched Inkheart with nazzer on friday and show's niice.. (:

driving prac yst morning was omgwtfpanicccc. actually not too bad la but foot was cramping on the clutch and i is not used to being behind the wheel.. ): and omg so i went to sign up for my PDL (provisional driving license hurrs) and like i asked the counter lady what i needed and she said i only needed to have my ic. so after 1 hr, my number got called out and like wtgg i needed to pay 25bucks using nets or cashcard and i had neither. so i asked some nice 20-ish girl next to me to help me pay using her nets and i said i'll pay her the money in cash but then i checked my wallet and i only had $22. !!! so yeah i hadta transfer $5 to her posb account last night. -sigh. but yup nice lady.. ((:

anw spent the rest of the morning and part of the aftn with nazzer then we went to noo's place for mcs gathering where i ate 8/9 jap balls. (i can stuff 2 in my mouth at one go hehh) sho wrong. anw i call em takoyaki, the others call em takopachi. na decided to call em: takopaki. O.o HAHA sho cute..

going msia/malacca/kl tmr for shopping & FOOD spree. one day only cos sis has sch stuff on tues and i fearr hotel rooms without prior booking. reminds me of 7 day msia road trip with family where we endured quite a number of lousy hotel rooms ack.. but anw yup one-day trip so gotta make the most of it heh.

aight tt's all. tues is Happy 46th, darlingg.. ><

olivejuice// i love my nazri (and he loves me even if he doesnt show it very well) -nods

ps. this is for the previous blog post which i forgot to attach.
The Rules:
1. Answer each of the questions below using the Flickr search engine.
2. Choose a photo from the first three pages.
3. Copy the URL of your favorite photo into this site: http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php
4. Then share with the world.

=/

you love me!

hee i have an amazingly sweet boyfriend yes.
he snuck out some of his rations from field camp cos he prolly knew i'd wanna try it hurrs.. so he saved up his food by swapping the supposedly yummy food for maggi for one dinner and lunch or something. chicken pasta bolognese and another chicken pasta thing.. yay im so touched.

and i think im the only one who finds this sweet, but awwwwwwww -happydance.
hmm i think im not sposed to talk about it =/ woops
anw,
1. First name: Siti
2. Favorite food: grahh cant choose. Swensens' Mega Burger?
3. Hometown: Singapore
4. Favorite colour: Red
5. Celebrity crush: uh jason mraz i guess
6. Favorite drink: coke
7. Dream vacation: outer space
8. Favorite dessert: ice cream
9. What I want to be when I grow up: wise
10. What I love most in the world: love!
11. One word that describes me: happy
12. My LiveJournal name: syimster (no syimster so i used hasyimah instead and guess what i found?)

olivejuice// you mean the world to me (:

Langley love (:

We're somewhat settling into Eden already.. some pretty friendly staff there and i guess it's a nice enough atmosphere.. lol we had rather Meh opinions of it initially, and we vowed to start our second day on a new clean slate, so yup we did and it's been a very fulfilling experience.. the past few days hasnt been easy, trust me, but maintaining a positive attitude & taking joy in the amazingggly cute antics of some of the kids there has made the past week extremely enjoyable overall ((:

anw my class has 3guys +1girl Vs my pathlight class which has 6guys +2girls.. half phwoar and interesting personalities.. >< cute little/big buggers haha.. but hurrs i still have some reservations bout the sch but ahwell we'll see, yes?

ahh and zomg i never knew i had such patience in me asjhdbwhefasfbwqehecd&^!@#$$#
-sigh.

oh there's a cute mat teacher at work heh

ohh i finally went for a run today HAHA. 1. cos im getting too damn fat, 2. cos running around with/after the kids at work/sch made me realize tt i actually miss running, (haha yes i cant believe it myself) Hurrs but i ran alone, which felt a litte lonely but fun anyways.. (:

i like work hmm.

olivejuice// HAPPY 19TH, SWEETHEART DARLING BABY HURRS. come out of the tekong jungle soon kays, i miss you alot ):

song meme whatever thingey

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on Shuffle
2. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
3. Put any comments in brackets after the song name

1. What is your motto?
All about you- Mcfly
am totally selfless manz

2. What do your friends think about you?
Sing- Travis
"Youve been waiting in the sun too long
But if you sing, sing, sing, sing, sing
For the love you bring wont mean a thing"
so they think im dark. hurrrs..

3. What do you think about very often?
My alien- Simple Plan
HURRS nazzzer

4. What is 2+2 ?
Far away- Nickelback

5. What do you think of the person you like?
Queen of my heart- Westlife
liek totally

6. What is your life story?
Sweetness- Jimmy Eat World
(: (well from looking solely at the song title cos i duno wtg's the song about meh)

7. What do you want to be when you grow up?
The nicest kids in town- James Marsden
haha!

8. What do you think when you see the person you like?
Stockholm syndrome- Blink 182
songmeanings.net says:
The song itself is about paranoia. Being afriad of the outside world, convinced that people can hear your thoughts.
uhm okay

9. What do your parents think of you?
Hands down- Dashboard Confessionals

10. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Shiver- Maroon 5
So come to bed It’s getting late
There’s no more time for us to waste
Remember how my body tastes
You feel your heart begin to race
sexy.

11. What will they play at your funeral?
When it all falls apart- The Veronicas
so sad right

12. What is your hobby/interest?
Disease- Matchbox Twenty
=/

13. What is your biggest secret?
Boulevard of broken dreams- Greenday
sho deep worx

14. What do you think about your friends?
We be burnin'- Sean Paul
hoho!

15. What's the worst thing that could happen?
Happy birthday- The Click Five
ZOMG how could anyone forget my birthday seh )):

16. How will you die?
Ikhlas tapi jauh- VE
translation: Sincere but far? O.o

17. What is the one thing you regret?
Cannonball- Damien Rice
stones taught me to fly
love, it taught me to lie
life, it taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball

18. What makes you laugh?
Shut up and drive- Rihanna

19. What makes you cry?
He wasn't- Avril Lavigne
lol look up the lyrics. -shifty eyed
O.o

20. Will you ever get married?
If i let you go- Westlife
na said this is a good thing so okeh

21. What scares you the most?
Tonight- Westlife
I don't wanna act like
I know that you'd be mine forever
Though I hope it's forever
Don't want you to feel like
I take you for granted
Whenever we are together
hmm but i think it's mostly bout sex. unh

22. Does anyone like you?
Accidentally in love- Counting Crows
hee

23. If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
Dont stop the music- Rihanna
uh i interpret this as: dont stop and look back but just continue with the flow cos there's nothing to change? =/

24. What hurts right now?
How far we've come- Matchbox Twenty
uh growing up?

25. What would you post this as?
Always- Blink 182

FOUR repeated artists, i need need more songs on phone hmm.
anw songs are apt enough haha!

wtg time so late redi. time to sleep yes.
fyi i updated my songs there>> yupp
k nite

new workplace

Eden is very different.
-shrugs.

Final theory lesson 1.01 today and i was dozing off for the most part. going anywhere after work is definitely a nono. shagged beyond shagged, i shall sleep soon.

i miss nazri already. whai my life so sad huhh?
Anw, here's the bugger's response to my lamenting bout how i had a lousy boyfriend:
"I beg to differ i think im as good a boyfriend any girl can get... Plus im hot... Quote me on this and see how many would agree!"

im expecting a veryy negative response hrmph.

olivejuice// field camp shmield camp Bah.
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you~

farewell until we meet again

right so my Pathlight days are mostly over, so it's now Eden ftw~! ugh but there's only like 4 of us now cos the other 2 got reposted to Pathlight, which makes us even more ostracized/exclusive, whichever way you look at it. -sad. and despite my fervent claims that as long as the food at Eden's good, i wouldnt miss the school and them at all, i lied. Cos i definitely will and i already do and i feel torn & heartbroken and Meh. and i'll miss the buggers' suaning and their awesome company grah.

let's hope Eden would be as wonderful a school as it is at Pathlight. -sigh. somewhat excited bout tmr though.. new experiences, new environment, new people.. should be hella fun. or challenging. but those two are kinda synonymous anw. hooha

oh my class (ie P2 Tamarind <3!) seemed to like my gifts heh. i gave them each a plastic bookmark with a hand shape at the end (it's called a Help Me bookmark heh) and they used it to high 5 me most of today hee. andand like one of em who was assigned the on/off lights duty was so cute cos he used the hand part to press the switch and tried to be all inconspicuous about it cos he's so shy. GAH SO ADORABLE. and they were pretty excited bout the class toys (meant for the Choice/Reward/Toy cupboard) and the teacher's gonna add them to the cupboard tmr. i hope they'll like it ((:

hmm met na at Central for Starbucks where she sponsored $5 of my Javachip frappe venti for some unmentionable reason hurrs. anw i came like super late/ early (cos she was unexpectedly let off work earlyy) and she was pissed. heh ><

i think tt's pretty much all the updates i've got hmm. oh and farin put up some horrible photos of us on facebook ack

im the boss

is a super fun game yayy! i sucked today though and ended up last.. -.- anw went with nazzer na maggi and hariz. pretty random group hurrs but like i thought it made sense? as in we all pretty much know each other and like it's fun to hang out with new people once in awhile yupp (: hoho maggi and i are gonna drag the commandants there next time yay!

anw weekend offer at mindcafe @ Clarke quay $7.50 excl gst each but freeflow boardgaming 2-7pm plus free drinks. not as good as weekday offer but pretty damn good nonetheless! just rmb to play at least 2hrs to make the offer worth it hurrs.. i wonder how much profit these joints make hmm..

okay super damn shagged i wanna read book and sleep now.

oh i got the toys for the little kids yay! (:
ah haha which reminds me, another video at work/sch which i found extremely fascinating! =D


ps.i think i like nazri alot

OH btw just had this convo with na:
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
i was just thinking
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
tt the many things i do in this life
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
have made me the person i am today
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
so cliched omg but true!
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
like ncc made me disciplined
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
somewhat
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
canoe taught me perseverence
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
ct rep-ing made me sharpen my leadership skillz and learn tolerance
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
nazri taught me to love unconditionally (for the most part)
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
and volunteering taught me compassion
liy☠na. / beware, you will never get out of this world alive says:
...why is your life so meaningful oO
§yimstar || RafflesRow! <3 says:
haha it's as if i had it all planned out beforehand it's quite scary
liy☠na. / beware, you will never get out of this world alive says:
HAHA
liy☠na. / beware, you will never get out of this world alive says:
but its good lah
liy☠na. / beware, you will never get out of this world alive says:
your life has purpose

(: Alhamdulillah

i is emo

second last day at pathlight and it feels so horrible knowing that you're leaving the adorable little things soon.. it's only been what, a week? i guess that's why na's all incredulous of my claim to be in love with them.. hah sounds silly yes but you have no idea how wonderfully endearing the kids are! lovelove.. gah i wish i could better express myself and how special the kids are but i failz. i cant blog exact details of my experience here, but i assure you it has been most enriching and i think i've learnt plentyy in the past 5 days.. -pleased

ah but i'll miss the school as a whole boos! i mean the environment and everything is so warm and accomodating and you cant help feeling warm&fuzzy inside cos youre surrounded by so many ppl who care and that makes the teachers special as well! ((: and the food here is supersuper yummy (albeit a little ex) and the other easy-to-get-along-and-i-will-miss-dearly jc teacher aides boos.

eden has only 80 students apparently. i hope the atmosphere there would be about the same and i can settle in well, since we're under the same admin and all.. the kids there are very much different from the ones here, which places quite some emphasis on academics. i guess it'll be challenging, but hah it should be interesting nonetheless..

probably getting the kids some gifts for my last day there.. they might not necessarily appreciate it (cos it's not within their field of interest?) and might eventually discard the stuff but it'll be nice to give something back to them for all the amazing memories they've given me (:

cheeseh

bah i cant make it for team outing tmr cos family's celebrating mom's birthday.. i miss them muchly nyeh. OMG and my rafflesrow tshirt's now a horrible shade of yellow cos it got messed up in the wash and wouldnt turn white again despite repeated bleaching.. -SUPERSAD

ahwell i go watch shows nao..

love you so

in this entry, i shall reiterate my point in the previous post.

SHO ADORABLE ZOMGGGGG
hee. anw maggi mentioned something bout maternal instinct and hoho i realized tt im quite pleased with my job cos i got assigned to some small class with small children and they're like my babies awww ((:

i think that should satisfy my womanly needs for now and put my biological clock on snooze for some time longer (:

anw, we were let off early today so i bummed at funan for some time while waiting for na to finish work yupp. stoned at macs and dozed off like 2824151943 times ugh. anw im still really tired so i shall sleep summore now yay!

nazri darling is so wonderful to talk to when im in a good mood =D
lovelove!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMMMY hurrs

oh btw the kids lovee this video, and i do too whee!

"you dont know anything about animals"
sho cute.

gimme me more

okay relatively short entry:

KIDS AT WORK ARE SO ADORABLE, IM IN LOVE WITH THEM. i hope i wont feel tooo attached to them by the end of the week cos im being deployed to Eden next week onwards. gar and there's only 6 of us there and i'll miss the other 22 here rawr! (as in the jc teacher aides) haha majority rj but the other sch ppl are really super friendly and great to talk to yar..

anw garr there's some kind of privacy policy included in our contract which means tt i cant take any pictures of the kids and i'll only have them in my memories, which is pretty lousy and i'd forget them soon enough. but i dont want to forget boos!

anw yeah work's superrrr tiring and we're on our feet all day but the kids make everything worthwhile, from their super cute smile to their random ramblings and earnest desire to make conversation. so pure so innocent so beautiful wooh!

im mugging for test tmr ack. Sensory issues ftw~!

shagged

ugh feeling quite exhausted from work, and i realize tt $1200 a month isnt tt big a pay considering the amount of hours put in.. anw we're not allowed to blog about work (we even signed a contract woahh) but i think i shouldd be able to blog bout some of the good stuff. like how the kids are so super adorable gahhh! im assigned to a p2 class with only 8 kids and they're sho cute yay! ((:

anw the past few days have been pretty interesting.. actually i didnt do much ah, just spent the whole of saturday out with my family, going random places and shopped quite abit heh..

'last' class outing on sunday was quite fun ah.. played a bit of pool and had dinner at madjack yummeh.. i'll miss the dudes somewhat i guess, oh zomg we can never go play boardgames for 4hrs on weekdays anymore! -sad. oh well shout out to the 5A dudes, (cos i dont think ive properly summed up our 2 yrs, though i think i might do a more proper one next time hmm), it's been great manz. i mean eventhough i've been given the oh-so-glamorous (HAH) role of ct rep and having had to handle all the crap and everything, it's been awesome still. im gonna miss you guys loads. well haha not everyone ah but yeah most of you (((((:

hmm kay nazri's unsurprising surprise birthday party on thursday. ugh failure lah he already knew about it like the week before cos some people cant keep a secret ): and nazzer was being a horrible bitch, acting all pissed and stuff eventho he know i get damn scared when he's pissed D: oh okay backing up abit, nazzer and i went to visit macs in the morning! bugger was 40mins late and i went to wait near the water at the paddle lodge area.. gosh i didnt realize just how badly i missed the water. all the sounds, the sights, the pain etc. i wanna row nao gar..

anw anw party was okay lah, i spent alotttt of money in the end and tt was kinda painful, but nazzer was ultimately pleased with the whole thing so i guess tt's all tt matters.. though it kinda hurt when he asked if he could go play lan with his friends instead of sending me home. me, Miss party planner rawr. -.- ahwell but he thought i could've gone home with farin or maggi but turns out i couldnt really. sis said tt the party was for him to spend time with his friends, somewhat, so i should've let him go with em. hoho owells.. ah plus lotsa excess food = meh.

entry bout 7 day malaysian roadtrip some other time wooh

i'm so tired

insecure

i think tt i have quite a huge ego most of the time. i feel confident bout myself and what i can do. but i realize that i have one downfall. im crazy in love with a boy.

i realize that most of the ppl i know are generous and lavish me with compliments often. im fine with that. it makes me quite uneasy sometimes but it still is nice to be appreciated. on the other hand, im in a relationship where i am seldom complimented but very often teased. i wouldnt say insulted cos he claims to do it with the best of intentions. whatever that may be.

i often refrain from blogging bout things that refer to ppl directly, esp if im unhappy with them. i usually turn to my diary diary in such instances. but right now it's not at hand and im too lazy to run over to my room to get it.

anw, revelation of the day: my boyfriend is my drug. im addicted to him and i would go to great lengths to please him, though he may not be the best thing for me. i guess him teasing me often and his rationale for doing so (cos everyone else compliments me too often) makes me cling on to him even more. it's like im craving for his approval of sorts.

(and at this point my insticts kick in and im questioning myself as to whether my claims are justified wtf)

bottom line is: i love you too much. it's dumb to give so much of your heart away to someone else. i'd do anything for you. would you do the same for me?

i want to be appreciated & cherished
i want to feel special
i want to know that i mean something to you
i want to be loved

but love is a word we throw around too easily. and love cannot just be uttered or just felt, (assuming tt the person knows it anyway) it needs to be proven with actions, not only when the person is looking.

im too much of a fucking romantic damnzz..
im thinking it must be pretty freaky to have someone love you too much hmm.

and im hoping this entry will be forgotten. just needed to get that off my chest. mooha

the story of the angsty man on the train

the story:
so we were let off work early today around 2pm. i left later then most cos i went to the washroom and everyone else cleared out like super fast lest the supervising teachers changed their mind i guess..

SO ANW, i was all alone and plugged in to my phone listening to some very loud music and waited for the train at the head carriage. the train came not long after and i walked towards 3 empty seats, then an old man with appeared in front of me and shoved me aside. taken aback and upon seeing that he was an old man with a cane, i moved back. and then all of a sudden he fell on his back on the train floor. i was like OMG and shut off the music on my phone, picked up his cane and newspaper and stared at him in shock. luckily he had his friend whom he instructed to carry him up, along with a presumably random stranger. at the same time, another guy had pressed the emergency button and informed the mrt personnel that a man had fainted. so i was like phew he's okay.

so i passed the old man his cane and newspaper and then he started yelling at me. he yelled at me, right in my face, in front of a full carriage. okay so anw he accused me of giving him a dirty look when he wanted the seat. he said that i had no compassion for a man with a stroke. he cursed me and hoped that i would get stroke in the future. he cursed my parents as well cos they didnt teach me anything. "i have a stroke okay and my friend has *quotes random disease*" "and you dont even say sorry" at this point i was very stunned and i just blinked at him. of course i got pretty pissed off when he started cursing me and my poor parents so my expression changed into a glare and i walked away and stood by the non-operating door side.

so by now i had went back to listening to my music cos clearly the guy was just real bitter bout his condition and nothing i said would've amounted to anything right? yes so by now 2 mrt personnel had appeared (i assume they entered from the next stop?) and were asking him if he was alright i guess. before that, there was also another man trying to calm him down or whatever, to which he said "dont defend her, dont defend the younger generation.. (and i turned the music up)". so anw when the mrt ppl came, i looked over to see if the guy had shut up but when i did, he pointed at me and said "her! tt's the girl. wears a tudung and prays five times a day but.. (so i turn away)" a bunch of ite girls were saying discussing rather loudly at this point, and in malay, that the man had no right to yell at me (i agree) and that they would've definitely yelled back. one of em looked at me sympathetically and told me not to bother bout the man.

it was the longest train ride i ever had to endure

-end of story-

so here are my takeaways from this very enriching experience.
1. that was extremely traumatising and when i got home (and embarrassingly enough, while walking home as well when i called na&nazri), i couldnt stop crying for a 40 mins or so. it's not everyday you get yelled at by a complete stranger and in front of so many ppl no less. also, it was mostly cos of all the pent up emotions during the train ride itself i guess. i mean at first i was seething inside cos this man just humiliated and insulted me for no reason and i couldnt say anything cos he's an old man (well not really old, early or mid 50s maybe?) and tt would be pretty rude(cos my parents thought me that, thank you very much) but after i got the angry bit, i was feeling quite sorry for myself and the man somewhat, and a thousand and one responses came to mind and i very much wanted to say "look, i know you're feeling bitter but that's no reason for you to lash out at me. if it's pity you want then im sorry for you"
whichh i know is a pretty awful thing to say so i just got off the train without a word. ahwell but no matter what, i cant lie and say that im completely over it cos i can still see his face in front of me when i close my eyes, ugh

2. im very proud of myself and how i handled the situation yayy. not saying anything makes me the bigger person (not cowardly!) and i guess others would expect me to leave the carriage or get off the train but no i didnt cos i did nothing wrong and i shouldnt leave as if i did. i mean im very sure i didnt give him a dirty look, shocked maybe but not dirty (like wtf?). but i guess my shocked look may, to a sensitive person, seem like a dirty look owells.. anw i dont think i apologized in the end cos i have my own dignity and i refuse to apologize for something i did not do. though mom scolded me for not saying sorry but i dont care, i did what i believed was right and i stuck to my principles yes. ah but mom also scolded me for crying and listening to music, which is very random and not very helpful but okay. oh but daddy said he was proud of me cos i was very strong (:

oh and i helped pick up the man's stuff and didnt just walk away so that means im an okay person.

3. the man was really very bitter. while staring at him as he yelled at my face, i tried to psychoanalyze this possible psycho. firstly, from his rather articulate and fluent use of english and i think he was reading an english newspaper, he must be an educated man. he's prolly just real bitter bout his condition (like a fallen man) and expects other ppl to sympathize with him (and the cruel treatment of the young ignorant generation towards him) (which btw is a horrible mentality, i mean, encouraging others' pity and all).. anw sis mentioned that he was prolly just embarrassed that he fell and thus lashed out on me cos i was the most convenient scapegoat. (quotes: i fell cos i very angry okay. that girl ah..) and on a lighter note, sis said i must've been like a rock, for him to fall after shoving me haha..

4. after showering and praying, i felt alot calmer and cleansed in a sense. i prayed to Allah to protect and shield me from such a disease (cos i believe that whatever we say is like a form of prayer and for him to have said it, even in anger or eventhough it's not right, i am still quite vulnerable in a sense) and to protect my parents as well. i forgive him, i truly do and i hope lashing out at me made him feel better somewhat cos god knows i'd feel awful too if i were in his position.. well eventhough i still wouldnt wanna apologize, i wouldnt mind saying thankyou cos i did learn a few things from this experience (after all, i did promise myself that i would live life to the fullest and gaining new experiences is essential to my growth as a person, including awful ones like this) and i hope he got something out of the experience as well, whatever tt may be.. =/

5. i feel mature heh

okay long enough entry, i'll blog about my 7 day malaysia roadtrip, and job and nazri's unsurprising surprise birthday party like tmr or something yupp

oh and Seven pounds is a beautiful beautiful show, everyone must watch okayy! (:

olivejuice// it's insane, this love i have for you. rawr

what great fun

HAPPY!

holiday at port dickson was fun stuff (: didnt really get to spend much time with cousins at first cos like we were in the car and the rest were in two vans.. hmm plus we ate at separate tables most of the time.. so for the most part it was kinda like a nuclear family holiday.. =/

haha best parts were the 15rm go kart-ing for 8 pretty long rounds, (how cheap is that!) and banana boating with sisters and cousins yupp.. lol banana boat was damn drama.. there were like 9 of us (ages 20 2o 19 18 17 16 12 12 10) yar and the guys were pretty huge and the kids were small and skinny.. anw point is we had some freaking scary but overall thrilling accident haha! we paid 20rm each for a veryyy long ride to like somewhere far away.. yupp and the guy made us tilt whenever the speedboat turned..

kay so otw back we asked the guy to drive the speedboat faster and it was even more exciting.. then then still somewhere in the middle of the sea, we tilted too much and the banana boat overturned haha! zomg it was quite scary cos we all like banged into each other in the water (someone banged my head and some got cuts on the lip and bruises and stuff) and the kids gosh! we were so worried but they actually thought it was really fun pfft.. but it was la heh. two of my sisters and cousin lost their specs, ouch.. anw we made do pretty well.. older sis had extra specs and contacts, my degree isnt tt much higher than younger sis' so i lent her my specs and i wore contacts, then cuz' degree's the same as his sis who just so happened to have One daily contacts thingey.. lucky lol!

anw when we got back to our hotel appartment, (parents were away on some errand when we went to the beach with our cousins) we washed up and stuff and when parents came back from wherever, we got one helluva scolding.. i was showering at the time but sis said parents looked kinda worried so whatever la owells..

kay so that was the highlight of the trip.. ohh plus KENNY ROGERS & STARBUCKS on last day when we had shopping stopover at Malacca.. LOVELOVE!

went for my second Basic Theory Prac today.. did 3 and a half booklets: passed 2 and failed 1 lol.. ooh and i saw renu there hoho!

went all the way to pasir ris after that to meet the ob dudes.. finally a proper Kondiu ncc gang reunion wooh! we had lunch at macs- i got myself the Mega Mac YESYES, which btw is so much more satisfying than the stacker burger thingey at BK.. i was officially a Real Man. (:

got kinda delayed finding the bus to changi ferry terminal but we finally got there.. luckily we didnt hafta wait long to get 12 ppl before the bumboat could leave.. ohh and the $2.50 fee was only for a one-way trip.. -.- nice ride, maggi and i sat on deck so that we could enjoy the view better, though the guys said we had a deprived childhood bahs.

$5 bicycle and we wanted to cycle to chek jawa.. after cycling for quite a distance, jeriel's bike cocked up, so we cycled (while he mostly walked) backk to the bicycle shack to get it fixed. then we cycled backk to chek jawa cos weiliang really wanted to see it.. apparently we were only like 100m away from the chek jawa gate area when we turned back.. -.-

anw chek jawa really is rather pretty! we took a hell lot of pictures heh ((:

lol gonna upload pictures nao.. fun fun outing yay.. not gonna see em again till like next year for our annual reunion hoho.. i miss sabah rawr!

going board gaming with 5a again.. should be fun yayy.. kay sleepy

olivejuice// pasir ris damn far poots

money maker

worked at dad's office today doing some advert thingey and random office stuff.. dad offered me the job cos i was desperate for money, something something, long story owells.. so anw worked 5hrs yst and 5hrs today and im now $72 richer wooh! nepotism ftw =D

kay going away to Port dickson with the extended family on mom's side.. fun stuff heh.. (:

olivejuice// ):

i wanna live my life with you

haha alrightt im pleased with the way things are going yes.

*caution: longg narration below!
class bbq on sunday was pretty fun yupp. started off my day by going over to nazzer's place to collect his clothes, which was the only way i could get him to pop over for the bbq, before heading over to pasir ris. reached early so i bummed at the library. then by 1pm there was only linda and woonie D: lunch at bk (bloody quad stacker burger is TINY lah) finally finally when we left for pasir ris park there was only pris linda woonie lijian and i. ahwellz. cycled for awhile, then royce came and we played bluff (which the guys ended up playing for most of the day), then i was leaving to collect nazzer at the int then royce offered to cycle me there on the tandem bike haha! we reached early so we bought drinks and hung around. then na appeared at pasir ris mrt so i took her bag and she cycledd with royce back to the park (oooh).. yup by then nazzer had arrived so we took the bus, along with yijing (: when we reached our pit, nick, mel & wenchun were there as well, so now we've got:
linda mel pris liyana me wenchun yijing nick royce woonie li jian

haha plus the bbq stuff got delivered as well. (okay bored, i write in point form nao)
- nazzer changed out of ns boy outfit
- helped to start fire (attempt 1)
- ame & fiona arrived
- played short game of capt ball (chunprismelme vs nickyijinglijian) : GIRLS WON (:
- royce started second fire, apparently first fire died out (i cant rmb which one survived in the end hmm)
- slacked off at sea wall thingey with nazzer while the rest either played bluff or tried to get a proper fire burning
- alot of ppl took turns cooking i think (linda esp i should think? and mel who was very busy buttering lol)
- nazzer and i went to look for charcoal and were unsuccessful
- i went over to the pit next door and flirted abit and they gave us a full bag of charcoal for free :D (okay actually they were done bbq-ing and had extra hoho)
- food was gooooood ((:
- longqing turned up
- slackslackslack
- nazzer thought us how to play with matchsticks in uberly coolios way
- nazzer and i played with matchsticks at the beach & it's veryy pretty when the fire extinguishes in the sand! haha then na joined us yupp
- left for home at 9.30

lol okay not that exciting but fun anws lah (: oh and i lost my ezlink boos (and so did na apparently hahaha)

spent yst at home. happy hari raya aidiladha! daddy brought home mutton after helping out at the mosque and mom made mutton soup (:

got ezlink card replaced this morning fr $19. met na at cityhall mrt 0mins late for lunch at marina square Breeks (good food!) then we were over an hour late meeting the class dudes. got abit lost on our way to Mindcafe but made it there in the end without asking for directions heh. royce nick yijing woonie linda liyana me. fun stuff! I'm the boss was super fun and NICK IS A CUNNING AND SHREWD GUY RAWR! i was last for first round and second for the next round (and i only lost by abitt) yay!

meeting up with ob girls finally finally. quack moo maggi shell was an interesting combination at ob sabah and i havent seen any of em since sec3. exciting!

na was trying to convince me to go for some melayoo camp thing but i dont have time leyh, plus i reallyy dont wanna forego cycyling trip at ubin with my ob group heh. lubx you anw na!

ahh and i watched saw2 just now after copying it off royce's laptop into thumbdrive.. awesome stuff..

oh and most importantly,
i got the job with autism resource centre zomg so exciting, im HAPPY! =D
heh. good life..


olivejuice// i miss you

changes

haha it's been a pretty eventful week, and im glad tt i got to take today off to unwind and probably tmr as well (what happened to team outing you guys??) ZOMG let's visit macs pls pls pls! i miss the water and running around barefoot and jiaolian and bloody mary.. D:

speaking of running around barefoot, prom was pretty darn fun.. i mean the entertainment wasnt all that entertaining (cept for EGG- prav & ge are lovee! and the organizers suck for not letting them do an encore rawr & watching michelle strut her stuff on stage heh) but running around taking pictures with the whole world was greatt, though i shouldve taken alott more pictures, so many ppl i missed meh! AND I LOVED THE FOOD! the non-muslims got the usual chinese 8/10/100(?) course dinner and since i was the only muslim at the table, i got some damn exciting portions ah. and it was SUPER NICE. (swiss'otel love love!) lol but the waiter who served me was hilarious. "here's your Muslim, miss" O.o HAHA!

okay enough about food(which was really damn awesome). i was super under-dressed! everyone looked super duper glam and all i wore was some $39 dress, a $5 necklace, (expensive underwear =/), damn painful pinched toe stillettos (i didnt even know they were called tt meh), my hair was flat. and i used nazri's hat as a handbag (sorry i didnt wear it, but i looked like a tourist D:) and FLABBY ARMS are teh sad.

but i had fun anw. though i dont think i said a proper goodbye to the ppl.. i mean it just feels like somehow this isnt really over, that i'll see them again (and not just because we'll meet again when we collect our results).. ahwell but i got pretty emo over college anthem and cheers cos i reallyreally love raffles cheers and being a rafflesian (who gives a damn bout being elitist pfft).. i kicked off my heels for Unite and i hurt my throat pretty bad meh. thenthen canoe cheer was the icing on the cake, yes.. then parents were being mean and picked me up at 12 ):

so early yst morning i headed to pathlight school again for my second 'interview' for the job as teacher aide. im THIS close to getting the job and im really really really hoping for it argh. anw it turned out to be like a flockey trg, cept that they did some kangaroo shoe jump thing & the kids were alot younger than the special os ppl im used too, plus i couldnt really catch their names so it was like fumbling in the dark somewhat.. D: then while waiting for dad to fetch me, i had a friendly chat with the security guard who's one heck of an inspiring guy who insisted i go to university (he's got 3 graduate daughters & he's the epitome of life-long learning lol!)..

then we went for breakfast, saw uncle off for hajj pilgrimage at airport, went to geylang cos mom needed to buy chicken (chikonggg!), got some sleep at home then went for driving lessons.

then i spent today settling bbq stuff including cash transfer payment so wooh now i just gotta pray the dudes turn up on sunday with money hmm.. & launched off new project today yay!

exciting ah but im totally missing out the most impactful event of the week that being sending nazri off to tekong before prom. it took muchh longer than expected but it was uh pretty emotional i guess. (wah paiseh) firstly i had to get over the shock of his shiny bald head. then the whole journey there was rather torturous cos of a growing sense of gloom meh. and then when we reached tekong, he went off with the other ns boys and i spent the next 2hrs i think? with his mom and sisters though it wasnt quite that awkward cos they're really nice to talk to.. visited the very comfy-looking bunks & their personal equipment (ns boys are so pampered these days..) & alott of ns guys staring like they haven't seen ppl from the outside world for a longg time, poor things..

walao but the ns video made me damn jealous can. i reallyy wanted to go to ns but mom said no. -.-!! and the food! damn huge mutant chicken i want! (but no i do not support genetically modified food, no..) =/ then after lunch there was an announcement for us to bid farewell and that it was time for the guys to assemble. that made me quite emo hmm. I DID NOT CRY, thank god but i was kinda stoned on the journey back. felt so weird leaving him back in tekong meh.. talked occasionally to his older sis & mom but mostly played with bella and letting her mess around with my phone..

but anw i think tt im coping pretty well with his absence.. thank goodness for Adaptability as my top 5 strengths (lol lol), i think i should be able to survive the next 2yrs woo.. well it's not that i dont miss him, i really do.. but there's no point moping, yes? it's not like he's thinking bout me anw.. but yes, i love it when you call. and your random messages make me smile. (:

olivejuice// get an extra battery, you! (and i know you miss me, just admit it lah!)