nyeh

somthing bad happened yst. dumbdumbdumb. someone must really hate me..

amaths was a killer. for the first time, i was totally prepared for the testla. then i saw the paper and died. nyehh

anw, after sch, went out.. hahahahs. busteddd

so yea. phone got taken.

was in pissed mode when dad talked to me. well, it better than being scared. when im scared, i just shut down. bahh.. so i go into pissed mode. it keeps me going? i duno. like trgs.. etc etc. its what allows me to pump continuously eventho im shit tired or endure scoldings even if i find it dumb. yae..the sort..

so anw. funny.. i thought i eat when im stressed. hmms.. recess now. goshh.. you know how they say people who are in lovee? can eat, can sleep.. so funny. hohum..

am feeling so dazed. puffy eyes.. hoho!

dad said i can never see him again. And i can neverr contact him. dad asked me to promise. i diden answer. so he said that he knows i'd just break my promise.. so he's telling me not to. yup! dilemma. on one hand, i dont wanna go against my dad and blatantly ignore his request. i mean.. after all he does care.. right. had a talk with my older sis in the dark before we went to bed. she said someone called up my mom. yea.. to the extent of describing him. scary stuff..

anww.. on the Other hand. yeah.. howw can i do what my dad wants me to do? depressing.. nyeh. so like when my dad brought the topic of him up, i was already fiddling with my hands, not looking at him and stuffs. gosh.. then dad said. is there a problem? i said no. hohumm..

well. fuck la. i was damn pissed.. dad was talking in his oh-so-superior voice againn.damn. gee.. im so unfilial. gosh.. anw, then like i didnt cry cos someone said i shouldnt.. then when i went into my room and closed the door, i cried. hohooo. yup! stupid really..

seriously considered getting run over by the cars on the way to school. that's how stupid ive become. oh, know the kid who got run over by a truck in cck? that's my little sister's mly class classmate. hohum. everyone dies eventually anw..

meh. i cant do what dad says leh. slight problem. emotional attachment. how dumb.. i cant imagine just losing contact with someone who's what i always wanted. He makes me happy. hahs. and now im sad. uhhuhs. aaaaaaw. mly starting soon. aightt.. `bangg.

olivejuicce alot alot alot. Happy 4 month! perfect timing hunhs.. sigh.