freefall

was thinking of an appropriate title for this entry but then matboy & badboy came along and they thought i sounded emo so haha changed the title

so anw march hols are coming up and CTs begin right when it ends. cant quite say that it's crunch time yet cos then that'll entail hardcore mugging, which really isnt something i can afford what with the great amount of time spent on hardcore training.. well i mug quite abit now.. but owells nvm soon. like when nats end and so does my canoeing career. and my time as a man.

have i mentioned that it can be a tad bit depressing when everyone thinks you're too man? but it's okay i guess. i need it for now anw.. for the love of my sport, sacrifices have to be made.. =/ sad life.

so yeah am sourcing for material for badboy's birthday now.. dont think he'd see this entry anytime before receiving the present itself..

back kinda hurts quite abit.. physio starts next week lol.. i really dont know how to answer the doctors when they ask me whether whichever part they're poking hurts or not cos i seriously cant rmb what it was like before i injured my back. it's just, well, there i guess? meh strange strange..

so yst i saw and heard of something quite disturbing. it's not reaally the action but it was just unexpected i guess. but it's cool. im cool. it's okay it's normal..

yeah.

olivejuice// Happy early 35th mth!

everything burns

it's finally monday. very strange hectic weekend..

saturday:
1. water trg: sub 12 again but slower by 1sec ugh. weights afterwards was fun..
2. showered in sch
3. got prata sausage at amk hub and just loner-ed ard for an hour or so.. alone time's really nice and calming sometimes..
4. flockey: i scored 2 goals. tyco hahaha! pong thinks i've got a canoe physique lol
5. mug/nap with farin: i bought corn at macs haha
6. met mom and sisters at yishun for dinner and to decorate cuz's room for her wedding next week. i was too shagged to help owells. oh one of my aunts share the same anniversary as nazzer as i. hoho must be a sign.. =)

Sunday:
physics tuition till 1.45. then parents left for a wedding so sisters and i rushed parents' anniversary scrapbook. and i gave sis math tuition and ironed my clothes, showered & prayed. and all this before i left home at 4.40 yup.. yeah and i got the cake otw to the mrt..

anws cake was to celebrate the term1 babies so yeah happy birthday all of you.. i was 17mins late while some were like 2hrs plus late.. then during dinner and waiting for some others to finish eating, a bunch of them disappeared without notice.. yeah so we didnt eat the cake before the show, which was pretty annoying.. owells wasnt planning to eat it anw cos i didnt think it was halal..

lol dim sum dollies was very retarded but still entertainingly funny.. the actors were very hot and had super sexy voices wooh! liyana was going orgasmic over hossan leong, who btw happened to pass by us outside afterwards but she didnt notice until i spun her around and then she gaped for some time.. strange strange..

i find class bonding very annoying. didnt really wanna have dinner together cos it turned out the way i expected it to be.. plus all the hypocritical bullshit about class bonding when everyone just does their whatever is -.-

i miss you
olivejuice//

good weather

no more emo heh. sorry for being pissy angsty and pmsy. horrible horrible emo oh dear..

i think i feel better partly also cos i've cleared both hist term assignments, gp essay and whatever else that i find particularly annoying.. oh and i understand vectors so life is just superbly awesome.. =)

and i've decided that eventho nazzer's the most busy and annoying being on this planet, i still love my boyfriend very very much.

tsk mush. time for maths!

olivejuice//

get a clue

Olivejuice// 2 years of signing off this way.. :)

love can be difficult.

argh depressed sad confused and fucking ihist.

SAY NO TO EMO! wise words indeed, myuk.

get a clue

so vday was very nice.. started off with the vday "exchange" with the guys team in the morning at the stadium. we gave them balloons on sticks and they sang 'It's all about you' with hongcheng and marcus-i-think playing the guitar, and they gave us a rose and a phonesock each =)

then the 5a guys bought roses from entre for each of the girls and they sang "when you say nothing at all(is that the title of the song?)" before maths lecture but na & i werent there cos we went to the florist near macritchie to get cheap flowers =/ yup then thruout the day there were gifts being passed ard and stuff and it was nice.

then had swensens with nazzer at bpp. sunset-watching at the pj roof didnt work out lol.. nice enough date yup..

take5 on friday was relatively entertaining. saikang-ed for canoe duathlon for most of take5. i was assigned the landing zone so i carried & alligned boats and i was the only girl working alongside 3 guys.. =/ i slept at 4am the night before so i was basically surviving on adrenaline and endorphins the whole day.. lol the titanic slide was fun. & the giant spiderweb haha! "canoe girls coming! -disperse" lol..

lunched with 5a then we crashed royce's place where we did the cny toss-thing, played games and i watched abit of Saw2 before going home with taufiq..

weekend's uneventful so far. i havent started on ihist essay due tmr haha!

i think why im happy most of the time is because i've lowered my standards such that the littlest things can bring me joy. does this mean im truly happy or am i only kidding myself? =/

recipe to avoid disappoinment: lower your expectations. never anticipate. never hope.

i really hate you sometimes. hahaha love-hate relationship.

wo ai ni jiaolian!

today is teh bomb yay! firstly firstly sch was very short cos i hadta leave for the doc appointment again. it was very strange cos it's really really a sports doc this time and did strange tests and stuff and came to the conclusion that my muscles are very overworked and i needta cut down trgs by 50%.. well monday trgs are very short redi cos of maths rem so i spose im only cutting down 1 trg..? more time to study now too i guess.. C average for CTs lol.. ohyeah and i declined the doctor's offer to be excused from napfa.. O.o

yup then went for brunch with dad then we went to the Honda showroom to look at cars cos dad's planning to either swap for a smaller mpv or buy a smaller car and rent out the current one sometimes.. honda stream's got a VERY ugly interior. dont buy. yup then bim called and reminded me bout take5 briefing so dad sent me back to sch.. there was a sexy red Lotus in front of us so we rolled down our windows to listen to the engine and the low growly throttle is teh sex i swear i might've orgasmed.. O.o but yeah very very very sexy..

yeah then trg. jiaolian gave py and i our vday presents! I ROWED K4!!! and py rowed k2 with cheryl. ahahahahahaha yayy! it was awesome and so fast and we were faster than like every other boat which is super rare with the fat t1 and it felt so niceee and i was just soaking in every second of the 8k.. every stroke, every kick, every tilt. i rmb how the water from the splashing paddles were blinding and deb's frequency was fast(if i rowed like that in t1 my arms would've dislocated by now) and deb saying "keep up the pace" and bim saying "watch left/right tilt" and prav saying "follow follow!" & "syimah your strokee!", when i actually had my left paddle face in the water when the others had their right side in.. and chanting to myself "be still my spasmic butt" cos i'd have sudden convulsions, hence causing the boat to tilt. strange strange..

yar then after 8k, jiaolian told prav and i to row k1 and =( t1 respectively. jiaolian patted my head when he told me to row t1 haha!

py and i rowed 6k on our t1. it was very depressing. fat t1 that moves 0h so little with every stroke. fat t1 that requires so much energy and lack of rudder tt can make directioning so super annoying.. it's not that i dont love my bloody mary. but yeah you just get sick of it, yeah?

so yup tt basically was my super awesome day =)

eh it's 12 redi.. HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY, WORLD! =D
hot date with superbusynazzerwhomanagestofitmeintohisscheduleandthusishouldbegratefulandcontent tmr/today..

wanted to make vday prezzes for the dudes but im now sleepy..

olivejuice//

productive

yes today was a productive day. =) finished seahist essay before 12. started on sunday aftn, found out tt my outline was wrong on monday, worked on it for abit last night, but officially started today.. lol i'd be glad to simply pass the essay at least for a day's work..

gonna start on ihist tmr/today yup! actually im sposed to be typing my essay now (yar i wrote out my essay cos i think better tt way) =/ but i cant bring myself to do it cos my brain's shagged..

doctor's appointment tmr/today.. dad's fetching me at 9.45 so i'll be missing quite alot of lessons today.. lol im just gonna pay for the doctor to tell me im okay, since he already told me i was fine and tmr's just a check-up to see if anything came up.. which i dont think anything did ah.. yay for improved strokes and greater tolerance for pain!

oh yar. yst was traumatising. die wenchun & nigel, die. an expanse of white. ouch

vday in two days and i havent gotten anyone anything.. i apologize on behalf of the hist essays. it's their fault uhuh

i should go type my essay now

olivejuice//

adventurous spirit

went hiking at bt hill with nazzer again.. haha it's been awhile.. we used the cylists' route like the previous time and it was just as fun yup! but he was being a grouch and complained quite abit esp about being in the sun. i swear he's more of a girl than i am.. O.o i love you still dont worry lol..

ooh and a snake approximately the length of my forearm slithered very near on the ground in front of me at the pretty green fields. and and we saw a moniter lizard too omg scary! hhhaaha. we went back thru the bt hill route somewhere along the stretch of green fields and reached the visitor centre ard 3.5 hrs after we started yup! super fun day yay i like hiking! =D

oh thursday was family outing at sentosa. place was bloody packed it was UGH and alot of ppl just change in public and it was so disturbing! and i hate it when little boys shower openly in the female toilets.. =(

anw outing was fun ah. soaked in the water for abit, played retarded games, ate nice food and watched Songs of the sea, which had super cool effects even tho the plot left much to be desired..

okay that's pretty much everything that's happened.. ooh exciting life! O.o havent started on hist essays boos..

kay sleepy..
olivejuice//

fallen and bruised

right so it's been three days into the week and it's not looking so good.. very exciting and very eventful, some of which i would gladly do without..

so monday, i got stood up by the class for our super exciting class bonding session. i should have known.. but i think it was the ordering food in bit that got me enthu bout getting the class together. maybe they knew i had an ulterior motive. hmm.. f**ked up still la owells..

in any case, thank you fiona&linda who came early and played badminton doubles with na and i at the amphi, making a complete fool of ourselves but it was fun lol..

mondaymonday.. oh limbay didnt come again. childcare leave or something again.. yup so while waiting for maths to start, wenchun was showing us super imba dragon pushups, which basically consists of pushing off the ground and clapping behind your back before you go back down. well he actually clapped in front first before the back and that really was Very impressive.. yar so anw, i tried to do one too. i honestly dont know what i was thinking. perhaps i wasnt at all cos the experience left me with a huge bump and bruise on my chin. the bruise spread and turned purple compared to the initial concentrated blood red but the bump still feels the same. im disfigured ack..

Tuesday. not much happened. decorated the back of the class, which didnt turn out too well cos the black sheets all just fell from the wall anw. got a haircut.. doesnt look too good ah.. but it could be cos of my bruise, which looks like a goatee, so i kinda look like a guy overall.. =/

Wednesday. no sch today so i crashed rg's cny celebrations with shuning and ge. i only caught a glimpse of the first lion dance performance by the part bs(now part ds) eventho i ran from the busstop when sn told me they were starting.. =/ but we managed to watch the full one for the lower sec session and they were not bad ah.. my partas were very pro with the cymbals yupp! =D

so anw it was like some huge reunion cos the j3s(batch '05), us (batch '06), the j1s (batch '07) came back too and it was quite exciting.. the part bs asked to take an '05 company photo so we did.. quite cool ah..

then sn and ge went off for reunion lunches so i went to the macs at lido to do physics before meeting the dudes at 11.. farin wasnt coming, melz eventually came at 11.45 and na was the best, 12.25 was it? and in tt span of time, i managed to lose my wallet/pouch thing which had 35bucks and my ezlink, while moving around, waiting. ($15 of which was money i owe melz, so now i need to cough up another $15 for past consumption). $19 ezlink replacement fee + $20 top-up. and my pouch was relatively new and costed me $8. so yeah i lost approx 80bucks today. i have about $10 for the month. hopefully getting more when i tuition sis but yeah bloody broke..

definitely definitely not my day.

family gathering at sentosa tmr. 2 hist essays due in about a week.

quite definitely not gonna be a good year either. sucks

i am the captain of my soul

a little something from meera,

Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

good day finally

SUB-12 PB FTW! yst was an awesome awesomeee day. quite some of us got new pbs too yup! muchly thanks to meera who did k1 and was freakingg fast eventho she didnt startburst due to lack of stability and proceeded to make me pace her. damn imba pls.. weights was fun. =)

then nw 'fetched' me at macs busstop and we went to amk hub for prata sausage and old chang kee whee.. then we went for flockey. flockey's really really funnn.. then it started raining so we sat ard hoping it'd stop raining.. and zaidi was flirting with my nazri and they were snuggling and took pictures and made me jealous humph. O.o

nw treated me to madjack. YAY! quality time ftw..

overall, superbly wonderfully awesome day.. =)

today wasnt very productive tho bother.. =(

olivejuice//

do you remember?

it was the 26th of March, 2005. the girl woke up early that morning for a group meeting at Vivien's house. she got lost, as was customary whenever she finds herself in the residential area of Bukit timah, but finally made it there soon enough. for the next few hours, they practised OM spontaneous questions. it wasnt all that productive but fun nonetheless. they then had lunch where viv's mommy bought the girl mee soto cos the food at home wasnt halal. O.o

it was raining when she left and she made her way to Buona vista mrt. He was late, which she soon learned was customary too. he had been working for his dad all morning and sneaked her a little something. she chose the No drugs ink pen over the bunch of highlighters..

they took the train to Somerset and walked the short distance to Cineleisure to check movie timings. upon discovering that there were no shows with suitable timings, they crossed over to Heeren, trudging through the crowd of girls swooning over a bunch of males performing on stage for a Cleo competition, to where her friend was queueing for a free makeover.

the girl then dragged the boy, half-willingly up the escalator to take neoprints. it was his first and it was theirs too. she then waved goodbye to her friend who was being caked on with makeup and they made their way out into the streets. they stopped by Old chang kee where they bought squidheads..

as they walked along Orchard road, they got free helium balloons. they walked some more and soon came across an adult shop. a bunch of lecherous-looking men were sitting across the shop, leering at people as they walked past. the mischevious two still held the satay sticks from their earlier consumption and thought that it would be fun to pop the balloons with their sticks and give the men a scare. and indeed it was. they walked on..

passing by Tangs, the two accepted a free cup of mineral water each from a random woman. after walking through the crowd for abit further, the boy suddenly claimed that the girl had blocked his way when he was about to get another cup of water from another woman.. -.-

they finally made it to Lido where they proceeded to stand in a long queue for tickets to The Eye 10. they listened to songs on his mp3 player while they waited, both not saying much cos there wasn't much to be said. it was strangely nice..

he offered her his jacket in the theater, which is huge and comfy and smelled of him. during one of the scenes, the girl got freaked when something scary appeared on the movie screen and promptly hid under the jacket. at the same time, he too ducked. (he was scared though he claims that it was only so that she wouldnt be embarrassed) they both stared at each other in the dark for a brief moment.

when the show ended, they walked over to the busstop to head on home. they found out that they were waiting for the same bus. the bus that came was quite full but soon after, two seats were available. she sat and asked him if he'd like to sit too. he sat, but as far away from her as he could, with his legs hanging off the seat into the aisle, and took out his geog homework to do. amused, she simply let him be. at Phoenix, he got off to catch another bus and they parted ways.
it was a sunday morning and she usually slept in. it was after her morning prayers when they started sms-ing back and forth. it was then that he popped the question. she was in shock. she deliberated her answer for abit and waited for her best friend to reply her urgent message. exhausted from all the excitement, she fell back into a deep slumber.

approximately 2hours later, where in that time, the boy had been tortured quite enough, she awoke and her answer to his question was yes.. hillary duff no longer rocked his world.. =)

Happy belated 34th, nw! 2 more months, yes? haha!

on a side note, training today was horrible. yet another deproved 2k timing.. how demoralizing..

aight i think i've wasted enough time, time to call it a night yup!

i love you//

circumstances

trg today was good.. hit another pb and jiaolian was happy.. im still blacklisted cos of my terrible attendance, but still, he has faith in me so im good.. not too sure what's gonna happen to the rest of teammates and it's really ugh.. we gotta do this together manz. we row as one.

right so econs test was.. do-able. i wonder why hmmm

oh yes napfa trials on monday. sbj was good but ipulls was horrid! super unfair la wth.. and 2.4 was pretty bad.. 13.02.. it's been awhile since i ran slower than 12 plus so.. =/ sucks.

other than tt, sch's been pretty fun.. quite mugger ah this week.. goodgood..

okay that's all i guess.

olivejuice//

time of your life

you know, when time seems to pass way too fast for you to think about your actions or anything else. when your very actions seem to have been decided by someone else. my life is spinning out of my control and im too bloody tired to take charge. dammit as if i even had the power to do anything about it. okay more like willpower ah but nvm.

i train my ass off. i know what i want, i want the gold. but it's consuming my life so much, i dont seem to have time to do anything else. i hardly have time for my friends. or they dont have the time for me, come to that.

my studies? god my grades are just dying and i know im the one to be bloody blamed but wth am i doing now? blogging! -shakes head.

studies aside, what really bothers me is my messed up non-academic life. (not that my academics arent messed up la but ohwells)

sometimes you just think tt you've really messed up with the ppl around you. you've missed out on so much. then you think, it's okay you dont need them anyway. so you turn to that one person but you know you cant truly depend on just one person cos Man just isnt made like that. and after all, isnt it always 'bros before hos'?, to quote tt dude from Transformers, though perhaps it's not quite as suitable in this context. right anw, point is, friends are important, but what if you're just not important to them anymore? what if you feel left behind cos You've chosen to be left behind. and now perhaps it's just too late.

and as always, awesome timing to think about my emotional baggage what with looming As and all. time of my life? totally manz.

have i mentioned that i hate my writing skills? quite obviously i have reason to, no? haha wth. bloody school makes me feel so stupid. and everyone else in it too.

idealist

when your expectations of yourself and others reach the point of impracticality, you just have to learn not to care.

works well enough.

happy

yst was a very very nice day.. training in the morning was awesome. was kinda dreading trg since i hadnt gone for 3 trgs this week and was pretty much off form. but hoho i finally hit another pb since dec and it really was a superduper great feeling esp considering tt i capped before i could finish 2k timing last week. so YAY!

yup then walked back to sch with jr and bern, since the back gate is no longer climb-able due to the new shelter and fence.. -.- so yeah then i crashed Mcs orientation for a short while cos they had leftover food, then went for shower. then walked to faraway busstop to take bus to adam rd to meet nw. quality time ftw! =)

going out with mom no woo.. so much for mugging manz.

olivejuice//

placebo effect

i think my throat is getting better.. =/

very screwed up week thanks to my swollen throat.. fever on sunday and subsequent random attacks of headaches tt i may have taken advantage of and have since then done little studying. didnt go for the past three trgs this week too. took a blue slip yst and parents fetched me after civics on their way to the market. class comm reelections yst.. quite some changes but some of us stayed on.. fungs and i are still co-ct reps ooh.. so exciting. i should be doing ihist now..

browsed thru the startutor site tt lakshmi suggested and i might be getting an econs and/or physics tutor.. see how ah, gotta ask dad first..

water trg tmr, i should be able to go. i feel awfully guilty manz but im sick. yar.. =/

right ihist ftw.

wise words

i just read bim's blog and i just had to quote something that muddy said sometime back,

"In school we show them what a canoeist means. At macritchie we show them what a rafflesian means." =)

love you guys!

m18 ftw!

still aching from thursday's trg wtg.. so anw trg yst was quite fun.. concentrated more on my strokes cos it's allegedly the cause of my backaches. i think it's true ah so mehs. anws, yangyang came back to help out and watch our strokes and all tt.. very very helpful yay! oh and 2k timing was just horrible! i thought was making pretty good time despite the bloody wind and just as i passed the 500m mark back, and was tilting to fix my direction, Splosh! i was in the water. wth i capped! wtg! damn damn damn damn annoying! and i got saved by a cj k1 and rowed back with more than half my boat in the water. boos. but 200m bursts was good.. =)

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ROS FARINA BTE R. FAUZI! sorry i couldnt join you guys for dinner but whee surprise present tmr, yes? =D

okay done updating my player. no longer hafta forward songs hoho! meh i need a new player.. =/

aights back to maths!

dieded

gym trg today was gg. well gym was alright actually but the sets before gym was hell. my quads are so freaking dead gar.

sch was okay. productive enough i guess.. lessons are kicking into full gear and gosh gotta gotta gotta mug. one of my resolutions for 2008 was to mug at least 2hrs a day on top of damn tiring trg but it hasnt really worked out yet.. like yst, i mugged for about 10mins before i knocked out. -.- wtg! must must mug!

i got round to using the money jar system and i've finally managed to get enough change for every pouch. yay to financial planning!

so anw, the holiday to malaysia was fun enough.. 2 days in Malacca and 2 days in Cameron highlands.. i didnt know tt we were gonna stay in malacca until we got there.. =/ yay to surprises! and also, we intended only to stay in cameron highlands for a day but dad realized tt a day there after a 1.5 hrs drive wasnt worth it so yeah tt's why i got back in spore only at 9.30pm the night before sch started.. mehs.

anws, Happy 2008 everyone! cameron highlands super tak happening sia. no countdown no nothing.. ended up watching xmen marathon to sleep.. =/

new year resolutions!
1. lose weight/eat less (we took height&weight for pe today. i shrunk 1cm and my weight is.. yar)
2. mug at least 2hrs a day (as mentioned)
3. dont sleep in tutorials/lectures (i almost fell asleep while rowing yst tho. strange!)
4. put in my all for every training plus dont kill my back
5. do 6 pullups by feb! (btw muddy says tt if i can do a pullup, i should be able to do lat pull-downs of double my weight.. nyeh)
6. do not be distracted by um, outside commitments..

i cant rmb the rest! i wrote somewhere in my diary i think.. owells.

time to mug~!