questions

i still cannot fathom this rather drastic decision he made.. i mean there are some things in life that i'd rather not question, like the existence of god or why we have to learn math, but this is something i really want to know. why anyone would throw away something that was so amazing, so close to perfection is beyond me..

i mean where else can you find two people with the same passion for food? (eventhough there were slight differences in the way we indulge in our passion, like the way he spams wasabe when he eats sushi or how we devour our mega burgers, which clearly shows our individuality, our similarities were enough to attract but not enough to repel, i suppose) or how about two people who derived enjoyment from hiking up bukit timah hill, time and time again?

i thought i got through to you when you started crying before the movie, that i got you to see how perfect we are for each other. but maybe it wasnt the right way to solve things either.. showing you a glimpse of the past when i should've perhaps presented you with a possibility of the future. our future. i cant rmb what i replied you when you asked if it was necessary to go through with this. well the answer is no. we didnt have to, cos we could've solved it some other way. but it's too late now i guess..

half of me still wants to hold on to the possibility of Us and that things would get back to normal, but this situation is so foreign, that i cant even view this possibility with faith. the door to our relationship is still open i guess. on the other hand, the other half of me just wants to close the door cos that's really the only way i can heal, yes? the healing process will take awhile, (plus upcoming As = AWESOME timing) and i pray that i will recover with as little scars as possible..

but you know what, i ought to feel quite pissed. this is really selfish behaviour, not to mention irrational and positively stupid. god what were you thinking..

i think anger's easier to deal with than a broken heart

okay following family to aunt's now eventho god-knows how badly i need to study.. cant bear being alone right now hoho..

oh god this is so pathetic and so drama, i'd laugh if i weren't playing a starring role, in which case it sucks