raffles row

i like canoeing. i like being on the water far far away from land and not having to worry bout anyth. cept maybe capsizing. and being eaten by the giant lizard thing. in any case, yes i've pretty much gotten over my fear of the water and despite being an uber bad swimmer still, im not that scared of the water. -nods.

2nd intake results today. some ppl didnt make it. 7 pointers even. a couple of fellow canoeists whom ive grown very much attached to. funny how things can turn out this way. seeing them cry made me so horribly sad and what's worse is that there really isnt much you can do to help. and furthermore, as piah mentioned, half of us in the rp, ie me, prolly wont come close to acheiving what they have if we had actually sat for the Os. and like im here in rj. im shitass lucky and i really havent been appreciating all i've got. tsk.

i miss ncc. i rmb being yelled at by ncos. i rmb making them angry because of our horrible attitude. horrible drills. horrible uniform. i rmb being disowned because ncos just couldnt stand us anymore. i rmb being so tired after trg that i couldnt study when i got home. i rmb my arms aching so bad after pumping that it hurt to shampoo my hair. i rmb them yelling at us at that scary place with their voices echoing off the walls. i rmb getting lost with zr on our random outings. i rmb being super pissed at the clts at camp for being such assholes. i rmb being disappointed terribly when i found out that i wasnt going for ssc. i rmb being angry at pltnmates over issues. i rmb busy nights nearing ord when we rushed to make presents for ncos. i rmb aftns where we spazzed over cruel trgs. i rmb worrying with pltnmates bout annual camp: will we disappoint our ncos? will we be able to be someth that our jnrs can look up to? will we die?. i rmb being angry at myself for not giving it my all at camps. i rmb being angry at myself for not having the confidence to lead. i rmb doing horrrribly grouping for imt. i rmb being frustrated at my partas in the earlier part of the year: horrible attitude. horrible uniform. horrible drills. i rmb sleeping/slacking in the ncc room waiting for pltnmates to come in. i rmb messing up commands during morn assembly. i rmb messing up the speech during ncc day. i rmb alot of horrible things. but why do i still love rgsncc,my pltnmates and my part as so? hmm.

in any case. hist essays were terrrrible. i crapped entirely and thus a confirmed fail. and like piah tells me that her tutor said that it's graded. tsk im screwed..

i am procrastinating my maths assignment.

freedom in just a few days. oh and our last few days wearing the pinafore. many dudes changed into the rj uniform redi. so eager. i quite like the pinafore. hmm.

pfft im feeling emo.

olivejuice//