pms

a few things i learnt about myself this week:
1. i really cant stand ppl with no tact, or see no need in being tactful. and hurts others in the process, even if it's not intended to. i dont mean that people should avoid saying some things just so that they would not hurt the person. im all for honesty, but yeah just know how to say things right la. idiots. (this is a general observation)

2. i simply cannot have proper conversations. partly cos of my bad grasp of well, words, and my lack of having anything interesting, entertaining or in any way important to talk about. i get the feel that people around me, would rather move on to the next person. maybe next time my conversations should go like this, "oh Hi. it's okay, you can go talk to him/her now"

3. i realize that i really hate ppl thinking that im stupid. i really really do. and i can fucking tell if you think im dense la, gar. what i lack in iq is prolly made up for in eq. okay that was a rather pompous comment hoho.

4. i am too bloody sensitive. i read too much into actions, words, expressions and get all worked up and this affects my productivity alott. i feel too much in general, i think. seriously, i should've been a boy. boys feels alot less, dont they? =/

5. i wish i was a boy.

6. if you asked me which year in my 18yrs of living, i'd be happy to be stuck in, i'd say 2005, when i was in sec3 and 15. that year was awesome cos of:
a. ob spore
b. perbayu drama
c. nazri and the whole falling in love thing
d. ob sabah
e. om
f. sis said my figure was nicest that year
though there are of course a few things i could do without, like:
i. specs course and embarrassing myself so bad
ii. feeling like a total failure when i found out i wasnt selected for snr specs
iii. the trials and tribulations of an unapproved relationship

7. im looking at people differently nowadays and becoming less accepting of their flaws.

plus i cant wait to get out of stifling relationships and get to know new people. i wanna reach out and connect, but i want to do so on a brand new slate. it sucks when you start to have to think around people you'd usually be fine around. or when you cant shake the feeling that they'd rather not be around you and that you're just a stopgap before someone more entertaining comes along

life sucks.
on a brighter note,
i've managed to satisfy most of my cravings/food loves just before the fasting month starts on monday. so far i've had: swensens' mega burger, bubble tea, fries & apple pie from macs, kfc chicken meal, lambchop, anatolia beef doner, yami yogurt tropicana peach, Royals' oreo cheesecake, rambutan, stall 11 food haha and hopefully tmr i can get my takoyaki from jp banquet and Javachip venti from starbucks. (:

i think the reason why i love food so much is because it's always there for me.. hmm.

went out for na's birthday outing today with the usual dudes. anatolia and just talking was fun.. then pretending to be taufiq on the phone was entertaining too. then we went to lan for an hour and played counterstrike, which i maintain is still a horriblehorrible game. no wonder kids nowadays are becoming more violent. but still, the short bouts of cheap thrill was, well, thrilling. oh and wtf ew taufiq wore my pants. D:

gp prelims was okay. essay was pretty good i thought. but i think i screwed compre. sigh

we made shirts for the teachers for teachers' day. a bunch of us designed it and linda printed it and passed it to me yst morning to iron on. they look pretty darn good, im proud of us. (:

27/08/08- Happy 41st, love. here's to more months/years together ahead.. =)

i need to finish maths by tonight kbye

olivejuice// i love you more than anything