row with no regrets

watching the video of my races makes me wanna vomit,seriously.. it's like, you can hear all the ppl screaming on shore in the video and you're willing the tiny you in the screen to go faster too. but omg the tiny me was still moving so sloww!

then i feel myself back in mary. back in lane1, rowing that 500m that initially felt too long, but suddenly so very short. suddenly nothing else matters, other than to row to the last buoy, to/for the people who were on shore, screaming and cheering for me. i could hear them, i could feel them. i got a surge of energy somewhere after 200m but i guess it didnt help all that much. fourth still. god i really really wanted t1 gold..

and then there's k4. watching our video, i have to admit that it wasnt one of our better 1000s.. totally out of sync. directioning was kinda whacked. and personally, i was freaking tired from 500m already. and i guess that made every stroke abit less effective. no more hard pulls. slower recovery. argh but whyy! why did our most important (not to mention final) 1000m have to be one of our shittiest? it's so awful to think that all our hard work only amounted to a 3rd placing.

and as always, jiaolian's right. we got overall 4th.

so yeah, i honestly cant say that i rowed with no regrets..

but then again, i cant say just how much more effort i could've put in tho. cos i really did give it my all, at that point of time. which is even more depressing cos my best still isnt good enough garrr! -faints and dies from disappointment. D:

i must say tho, that my row for t1 finals was the row that i was waiting for. i was very lucky to get through from heats, to semis and to finals. my heats was awful cos my first few strokes hardly caught any water, and i got so excited for the first 300m that my pace was totally off and i died for last 200m. came in first, but still.

and semis, HAHAHA. to explain the predicament i was in, i shall quote greg's note to me yst, "haha i heard you were crying while rowing cos of the wind yesterday! that's funny hahaha" yes, i got effing owned by the wind omgg.. and it's super not funny! the wind made my directioning damn screwed up, and having to tilt so much just to stay in my lane was physically draining, and i was barely moving and i got so scared.. but wth, it's not like i've never rowed with wind before seh. &%*@^#(!!!

ah right enough bout the races, it's not like the past can be undone..

i shall instead now thank everyone who supported me yayy! uh i shall dedicate one whole entry to teammates later cos there's really just too much to say.. so for now, i must thank Liyana, Farina, Melz, Fungs, Taufiq and Nigel! haha fine so nigel came for chinks & kennedy and fungs came for brian but yeah. my "legions of supporters", as jiaqi calls em. you guys have nooo idea how much you being there meant to me, seriously.. lovelove! ah but the silly cheap thrill idiots very randomly carried me off the ground, to a height that i was not accustomed to. and afterwards had no idea where they intended to carry me. -.-

ohyeah teammates also decided that carrying me around must be very fun so i got carried again, after finals, from the pontoon to shore. gahh not like im very light like that rightt! =(

omg and daddy dearest! i cant believe he came for both my races, and very excitedly took videos of me and my "legions of supporters" and he sent me a super cute/sweet sms after my race, which was really very awww.. :) lol eventhough i had to row in a shirt and not my jersey cos i didnt want him to see me in one. (he must've been so proud to see his conservative malay daughter row among a bunch of skanks in skimpy jerseys and fbts.. haha!)

and i realized that my dad has turned up for pretty much all of the important events in my life. okay i can only rmb from sec3 onwards, cos i think that's also when all the excitement began, but yeah. sec3 malay drama, though mom said that she didnt see a need to go, dad actually came over to rg on drama night but YAR I DIDNT KNOW HE WANTED TO COME! so he didnt have a ticket, plus he came late so he didnt know where the heck everyone was. (i really really feel damn bad bout this) but ahwell im touched by the simple fact that he came manz.. sec3 OM skit day at acsi, he came! oh wait, dad also came for either sec2 or sec3 passing out parade for ncc annual camp, with the family yup. and they also came for last year's rj malay drama haha! and yst gosh, that really was da bomb. he wore running shoes with his tailored pants cos he figured it'd be muddy hahahaha.. =D yeah but basically, he's really been there for me, and i love him veryvery much.. (awwwww)

hmm okay, remind me to blog bout teammates(LOVE!!) and post-nats parteh-ing next time kays. okay it just started to sink in that there wont be anymore canoeing for us, ever. ah and it's a saturday morning, but im not at macritchie rowing in bloody mary. i'd usually still be asleep at this time on free days but GACK my internal canoe trg clock! SO DEPRESSING! D:

i shall proceed to mope around now. ):

olivejuice//